ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 87: The Day Got Crazy ( )

Once he pocketed the map, Hazuki rushed back to his plate, still sitting on the road where he had left it.

He quickly shoved the last bits of roast meat into his mouth, chewing as fast as he could. He grabbed his mug of ale and downed it in one go, letting out a satisfied sigh.

Then, he stood up suddenly.

"Owner! Count!" he called out, signaling the stall seller to add up his meal.

The Halfling stall owner, a short and slightly round man with a thick mustache, gave him a blank stare.

"Huh? Are you crazy? You just asked for 20 copper worth of food. Of course, it’s 20 copper."

Hazuki blinked. "Oops, my bad. Heheh..."

He reached into his pouch, pulled out a single silver coin, and handed it over.

The owner shook his head but still took the coin, counting out the change. "Here, 80 copper. Thanks for eating here."

Hazuki grinned and put the coins in his pocket.

"Alright, thanks, old man."

As he turned away, his fingers brushed against the hidden map in his pocket.

This could be something big.

"Alright! First thing first! Going back to the Adventurer Guild!!"

Hazuki happily walked back toward the guild, feeling good after a nice meal.

Then—

He froze.

"Crap! My clothes!!"

Without wasting any time, he spun around and ran back to the food stall.

When he got there, his new clothes were still sitting there, untouched.

Hazuki let out a relieved sigh and picked them up.

Then he glanced at his old clothes.

...They stank.

Like sweat, dirt, and regret.

"Well... better change first."

Hazuki held his fresh clothes tightly.

"Alright! To the stream!!"

With that, he marched off to find a good place to wash up.

"Excuse me, cutie, where’s the nearest stream?" Hazuki asked with a grin as he approached the Halfling girl sitting nearby.

She looked up at him and started moving her hands.

At first, he didn’t understand.

"Uh... nearest stream?" he repeated, tilting his head.

She smiled but kept using hand signs.

Hazuki blinked again. Then it hit him.

"...Oh."

He scratched his cheek awkwardly. Crap. He’d never dealt with sign language before.

"Uhh..." He looked around, hoping for someone to help, but nobody seemed to notice.

The Halfling girl giggled silently, clearly amused by his confusion.

Hazuki sighed and decided to try a different approach.

He pointed at himself, then pretended to wash his face and body, then pointed around as if asking "where?".

The girl’s eyes lit up with understanding. She smiled and pointed down the road, making a flowing motion with her hand—like water.

Hazuki grinned.

"Ohh! Thanks, cutie!"

The girl gave a thumbs-up.

Then, an idea struck him.

"Wait... if she can understand that... maybe I can ask about the map too?"

He turned back to the girl, determined.

"Alright! Round two!"

Hazuki began his next performance—

First, he made a big rectangle with his hands.

Then he pretended to walk.

Next, he waved his arms in a wavy motion.

Then, he used his hands to make a circle.

Finally, he pointed at her with a big hopeful grin.

She stared.

Silence.

Then—

She clapped enthusiastically.

Hazuki froze.

"Wait."

"Did... did she think that was a performance?!"

The girl giggled and gave him a double thumbs-up before pulling out a small piece of bread and handing it to him.

Hazuki slowly accepted it.

"...D-Don’t tell me—was that a ’good job’ reward!?"

The Halfling girl just smiled at him like he was a very talented idiot.

Hazuki mentally collapsed.

"...I give up."

With his pride shattered, he sighed, took a bite of the free bread, and walked away toward the stream.

Once Hazuki arrived at the stream, he wasted no time.

He put his new clothes onto a nearby rock and jumped straight into the water—

—only to immediately sink like a rock.

"EEEK!! THIS IS TOO DEEP!!"

Flailing wildly, Hazuki kicked and thrashed, barely managing to push himself back up to the surface.

He gasped for air, coughing and sputtering.

"Damn it! I thought this was just a shallow stream!"

Panicking, he tried to swim back to the edge, but his soaked clothes weighed him down.

"Whyyyyy!?" he wailed as he struggled.

After a few more moments of kicking, Hazuki finally managed to grab onto a rock and drag himself to safety.

Drenched, exhausted, and wheezing, he collapsed onto the shore, staring at the sky.

"...Maybe I should’ve checked the depth first..."

He let out a long sigh before peeling off his soaked clothes.

"Alright... Round two. But this time—no clothes."

With a new plan in mind, Hazuki stood up, prepared himself...

And carefully waded back into the water like a normal person.

Hazuki hummed cheerfully as he scrubbed himself down with his hands, splashing water on his arms and face.

"Ahhh~ nothing like a refreshing wash after a long day~," he sighed, stretching.

He then glanced at his soaking wet clothes laid on a rock beside him.

"Hmm... what should I do with this?" he muttered, poking at the drenched fabric.

"Alright! While waiting for my body to dry, let’s wash this—"

SLIP!

Before he could finish his thought, his foot lost traction on a mossy stone beneath him.

SPLASH!!

Hazuki disappeared into the water again.

For a moment, only the sound of the rushing stream filled the air.

Then—

"BWAAAH!!"

Hazuki’s head burst out from the water, his hair stuck to his face.

"Damn it! Not again!!" he coughed, flailing as he struggled back to the shallows.

Dripping wet, shivering, and glaring at the treacherous stream, Hazuki grumbled as he wrung out his soaked hair.

"Ugh... I was just trying to wash my clothes! Why does the world hate me!?"

With a sigh, he picked up his clothes and began scrubbing them against a nearby rock.

"Fine, fine... let’s just get this over with before I die from stupidity."

As he grumpily continued washing, a fish suddenly leaped out of the water and smacked him in the face.

Smack!

Hazuki froze.

"..."

The fish flopped back into the stream.

"..."

Hazuki slowly raised his trembling fist.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD!?" he roared.

"Haaa..." Hazuki let out a deep sigh, shaking off the last bit of water clinging to his hair.

He grabbed his new clothes and slipped into them with ease. The fabric felt fresh, not like the worn-out rags he was used to.

He took a moment to admire himself.

"Now... do I look like a proper adventurer? " He scratched his head before shrugging.

"Whatever."

With renewed energy, Hazuki threw both hands into the air.

"Alright! Let’s head to the adventurer’s guild and withdraw some money!!"

He marched forward,—only to suddenly notice a group of sketchy-looking Halflings stepping out from a side alley, blocking his path.

A grimy-looking thug with a cocky smirk stepped forward, cracking his knuckles.

"Well, well, well, boys~ Look what we got here! A lost little human in our town!"

Another thug snickered, flipping a small knife between his fingers.

"Hey there, tall guy~ How about you hand over all your money... and that fancy sword of yours?"

Hazuki stared at them, expressionless.

"..."

Then, without saying a word, he casually turned—

And started walking forward.

Straight through them.

"Oi! Are you ignor—"

DUSH!

BUKK!

WHAM!

Before any of them could react, a storm of fists and kicks erupted.

Bodies flew backward, flipping through the air like ragdolls.

Within seconds, the entire group of thugs lay sprawled across the ground, groaning in pain.

Meanwhile, Hazuki kept strolling, hands in his pockets, whistling a cheerful tune.

He didn’t even glance back at the pile of beaten-down Halflings.

One of the thugs, his face pressed against the dirt, wheezed, "W-What the hell just happened...?"

( End Of Chapter )