ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 172: Small Errands, Big Surprises ( )

"Now what, Ridan?" Hazuki asked, stretching his arms as he stepped out of the laundry shop.

"Huh? Are you dumb? Not hungry?" Ridan replied.

"Oi! Of course I’m hungry! But now look at me!" Hazuki struck a pose, flashing a grin while motioning to his new clothes, fresh leather bag, pants, and shiny boots. "I actually look like a real adventurer now!"

"Yeah, yeah... whatever," Ridan muttered as he floated down and plopped onto Hazuki’s head like a lazy hat. "Alright! Time for you to keep walking and enjoy the sights!"

Hazuki just stood there silently.

"What?" Ridan asked.

"We’re leaving this town once my clothes are washed and dried."

"Oh... right. I forgot." Ridan scratched his cloudy head. "Man, and here I was hoping to ogle more melon ladies."

Hazuki sighed. "Seriously... you’re impossible."

"Oh, Hazuki! There! Melon! Melon!" Ridan suddenly shouted from above.

Hazuki perked up. "Melon fruit?"

"No, dumbass! That melon!" Ridan spun mid-air and pointed at a passing beastkin woman. "Woo! Nice jingling melons!"

Hazuki slapped his face with a groan. "Damn this pervert spirit..."

"Hey! We’re going on a long journey, so of course I’m gonna enjoy the melon sights while I can!" Ridan puffed up proudly. "Unlike you—tied down by that sacred pinky promise oath! No ogling for you! Not to mention... your face too!"

Hazuki twitched. "Damn it, Ridan!"

"Bwahahahahaaa!" Ridan spun in gleeful circles like a ghost doing a victory lap.

"Now you listen to my request today, Hazuki!" Ridan declared as he floated with exaggerated authority above Hazuki’s head.

"Haaa... fine, what now?" Hazuki sighed, already bracing for something stupid.

"From now on, you should only buy things from shops owned by hot melon girls!"

Hazuki blinked. "What’s wrong with ones that have a good size? Normal is fine too, you know."

"No! No way!" Ridan waved his cloudy arms like it was some moral offense. "You like small and medium. Not me. I’m an ancient spirit. I got class!"

"Yeah yeah... full fur class..." Hazuki muttered, walking ahead while rubbing his temple.

Ridan huffed proudly. "Exactly. Respect the fluff and the bounce!"

"Fine," Hazuki muttered. "Since we still have some money in this pouch, and I’m not going to withdraw from my account... you show me the shop you want me to buy from."

"Alright!! That’s my Hajoke!" Ridan shouted, doing a little victory spin in the air.

"Damn it, Ridan..."

"There! Right there!!" Ridan pointed excitedly from atop Hazuki’s head. "She’s selling grilled meats. Premium stuff!"

Hazuki squinted at the small food stall across the street. A young beastkin woman was indeed running it. Tall, full-furred, definitely attractive by beastkin standards... but strangely, her stall had no customers.

"Are you sure?" Hazuki raised a brow. "She’s hot for beastkin, yeah, but why is no one visiting her stall?"

"Don’t ask too many questions, dumbass!" Ridan shouted, bouncing like a squirrel on Hazuki’s hair. "This is my chance to land right between her breasts!"

Hazuki stared blankly ahead. "I don’t know what’s worse. That you’re saying this out loud, or that only I can hear it."

"Both! Now march!" Ridan pointed dramatically like a general leading his army.

"Umm... h-hello, h-human..." the beastkin girl said, her voice soft and shaky.

"W-what w-with t-the s-stutter?" Hazuki teased with a grin.

"Umm... sorry," she fidgeted, ears drooping slightly. "This is my first time opening a stall."

"Oh? That’s good to hear," Hazuki replied casually, his tone softening.

The girl offered a small smile, looking a little more at ease. "How much do you want?"

Hazuki was just about to answer when he noticed Ridan had already plopped himself right between the girl’s chest as if it was his new throne. The spirit wore a smug grin, arms behind his cloudy head, fully lounging.

Damn this pervert spirit... Hazuki thought with a twitching eyebrow.

"How much each?" he asked, keeping a straight face.

"Five copper for each skewer," the girl replied.

"Hazuki! Buy all! Buy all!" Ridan cheered excitedly in his head.

Shut up, asshole, Hazuki mentally shot back.

"Umm... give me twenty pieces."

"Thank you, customer!" she said, a little surprised. "That’ll be one silver coin."

"Now! Touch her hand!" Ridan shouted gleefully from his perch.

Do you want me to be punished by the sky!? Hazuki snapped back inside his mind. You know I can’t touch any girl’s hand for too long, except when paying or receiving something.

"Heh... You’re not gonna ogle them anyway, let alone touch with dirty thoughts. Just do it!"

Why!?

"Just trust me on this!"

Ugh! Fine... Hazuki reluctantly reached out.

As he handed over the silver coin, his fingers brushed her palm and lingered just a second too long.

The girl instantly pulled back, startled. "Ah, no! Mister human! Don’t touch too long!"

Hazuki blinked. "Huh!? Why?"

She looked down nervously. "They said I’m cursed..."

Hazuki furrowed his brow. "Cursed what?"

Ridan floated just above her shoulder now, expression shifting from perverted grin to curious squint.

"Well... umm..." she hesitated, looking unsure if she should say more

"They said I’m unlucky if touched too long..." the girl said quietly, looking down. "Even the skewers I make usually end up all..."

She paused, expecting to see the meat burnt or overcooked—but instead, the skewers looked perfectly grilled. Golden, juicy, slightly sizzling. Her eyes widened in disbelief.

"Huh...? They’re... perfect...?"

Hazuki raised an eyebrow. "I mean, yeah? They look great to me."

In his mind, Ridan let out a satisfied hum. "Good boy, Hazuki~"

Huh? What are you talking about now? Hazuki responded internally, annoyed.

"You just let her transfer all her unluckiness to you," Ridan said smugly. "And now you’re carrying it. You and only you."

Hazuki froze. What—what the hell!? You didn’t warn me about that part!!

"Hey, don’t worry about it," Ridan replied lazily. "Even the unluckiest curse shouldn’t stick to you anyway."

Huh!? How can you confirm that!?

"I’m an ancient spirit, remember?" Ridan puffed out his cloudy chest proudly. "Thousands of years of wisdom, and your dumbass is still the strangest case I’ve ever seen."

Hazuki grit his teeth. That’s not reassuring at all...

"Besides," Ridan added with a smirk, "your bad luck is already like a black hole. What’s one more curse gonna do? It’ll just get absorbed into the chaos that is you."

Inside Ridan’s mind, a quiet thought surfaced beneath all the chaos. Another quest settled. First the boy... now this girl. The next one might be harder...

"Hazuki, buy more skewers!" Ridan suddenly shouted.

"Ehhh? Why?" Hazuki looked confused, halfway through chewing the first one.

"Don’t ask. Just buy more!"

"Ugh... fine..." Hazuki groaned as he reached for his coin pouch.

"And not just skewers! Get meat, veggies, more sticks, maybe something spicy!"

"Oi, I can’t eat all that, asshole!" ƒгeewёbnovel.com

"I didn’t ask you to eat it, dumbass. I said buy it."

Hazuki narrowed his eyes. What the hell is this spirit plotting now...?

Ridan hummed in his head. One by one. Just keep gathering them.

( End Of Chapter )