ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 173: Spooks, and Spite ( )

After that, Ridan made absolutely sure Hazuki spent nearly all his coins. Buying raw meat, vegetables, fruits, used clothes, and even a cooking pot. And of course, Ridan forced him to withdraw money from his adventurer account too.

"Ugh! This is heavy! What is all this for!?" Hazuki groaned, slumping over a table inside the laundry shop, his arms limply wrapped around three bags and a sack tied with twine.

The laundry girl, holding a warm bundle of neatly folded clothes, smiled cheerfully.

"Thank you, Mister Human." She placed the clothes gently in front of him.

Hazuki just stared at them. "You’re welcome... I guess..."

Inside his head:

"Damn it, Ridan... I’m not a traveling merchant!!"

"Shut up and be useful, Hazuki the hauler! Bwahaha!" Ridan cackled while lounging on top of the clean clothes as if sunbathing.

"This money you spent and got, all thanks to me too!! So be grateful to me!! The greatest Ridan-sama!!"

Ridan puffed up proudly, striking a relaxed, majestic pose while still lying lazily on Hazuki’s clean laundry.

"Ugh! So annoying! This is heavy! And I’m not a mule!!" Hazuki snapped, shifting the weight of his overstuffed bags and nearly tipping over.

"We won’t go far, dumb idiot! Just go to the gate and pass! After that, you just follow me!!" Ridan barked from above.

Hazuki groaned louder. "This feels like a damn escort mission! And I’m the one being escorted by a floating pervert!"

"Move your legs, Hajoke! Those melons won’t wait forever!!"

"What melons!?"

"The melons of fate, Hazuki! Now march!!"

They nearly reached the gate.

Hazuki’s legs dragged as if he’d been through three wars and a potato sack race.

"Keep moving! We’re almost out! Freedom!!" Ridan cheered, doing barrel rolls above Hazuki’s head like a drunken mosquito.

"Shut up! I’m dying here! This isn’t freedom! This is slavery with extra luggage!"

The beastkin guard at the gate squinted. Then his ears twitched.

"Oh no... it’s him again."

Hazuki was shouting at the air. Again. Arguing with nothing, gesturing like a madman dragging his entire inventory.

"...I saw nothing," the guard muttered to himself and casually turned around, pretending to adjust his armor straps.

"Yep. Nothing at all. Not my problem."

Just like that, Hazuki passed through the gate.

Once they passed the gate, Hazuki kept walking with a half-dead expression, following the excited spirit spinning lazy circles in the air above him.

"Just a little more, Hazuki! Yesss!!" Ridan pumped his tiny ghost fists like he’d just won a lottery.

"Ugh! This better not be far..." Hazuki grumbled, adjusting the overloaded bags on his shoulders.

"Don’t worry! Don’t worry! Besides..." Ridan twirled like a show-off dancer in a festival, "you’re gonna see the best scenery for this!"

"Scenery my ass...," Hazuki muttered. "If I collapse before we get there, I’m haunting you."

"Then we’ll be ghost buddies! Hahahaha!"

"All right! We’re gonna be there soon!!" Ridan shouted, twirling with excitement in the sky.

Hazuki squinted. "Err... how do you even know that? Don’t tell me you’ve been here before?"

"Huh?" Ridan froze mid-spin. "I don’t know... It’s just... I want to do this."

Hazuki stared. "That’s not reassuring, you know."

"Shut up and keep walking, mule boy! Trust the ancient spirit’s intuition!"

"That ancient intuition of yours better not lead us to a dead end, or I’m dumping this entire bag of meat on you."

"Deal! As long as the meat lands on a hot beastkin girl, I’ll die happy!!"

Hazuki snorted. "You’re already dead, idiot. You’re a spirit."

"Correction, dumbass!! Ancient spirit!!"

"What’s the difference!?"

Ridan floated down with a dramatic sigh. "This... this is why they call you Shitman, Crazy Guy, and Idiot behind your back."

"Wha!!?"

"An ancient spirit is a powerful existence! Wise! Mysterious! Useful!" He puffed his ghostly chest. "A regular spirit is just a floating light ball! Can’t talk! Can’t move! Just whining in place like a broken magic stone!"

Hazuki muttered, "Sounds like you if someone cuts off your voice..."

"You lucky enough to get me as your spirit!" Ridan declared, floating just above Hazuki’s head like a smug halo. "Have you seen anyone else able to talk to a spirit like me?"

"Errr... no?" Hazuki replied, squinting up suspiciously.

"Exactly! That’s why you should be grateful! Didn’t you notice?" Ridan circled once, waving his tiny hands dramatically. "Sleeping in the forest at night without getting eaten? No monster attacks while you’re snoring loud enough to attract a bear?"

Hazuki blinked. "Er... yeah, now that you mention it..."

"See!? Benefit of having me around! Monsters get real active at night, you know. Yet none of them dared lay a claw on your dumb sleeping face."

Hazuki frowned. "Wait... so you’re saying that was you protecting me?"

"Of course it was me, dumbass!" Ridan puffed his chest. "Who do you think scared off that pack of shadow wolves? Or the vine crawler trying to hug your leg? Or that two-legged chicken freak sniffing your boots!?"

"...There was a chicken freak?"

"Exactly! You didn’t even notice! That’s how amazing I am!" Ridan twirled mid-air like a showoff.

Hazuki sighed, adjusting the heavy sack on his back. "So I’ve basically been walking through monster death zones while you’ve been acting like some invisible bouncer?"

"You’re welcome!" Ridan grinned proudly. "Now how about showing some appreciation with grilled meat next time, huh?"

"Greedy ghost."

"Now keep walking!!" Ridan shouted with glee, spinning like a happy balloon caught in the wind.

Hazuki narrowed his eyes. Something was off. Ridan was way too excited.

"...Ridan?"

"Hmm?" the spirit hummed, still floating ahead.

"...Nothing."

Ridan did a midair flip. "Just ask if you wanna ask!"

Hazuki raised an eyebrow. "Ask what?"

"My type, of course!" Ridan announced proudly. "Big melons! Sultry voice~ Hot! But not a whore!"

"I DIDN’T ASK THAT!!" Hazuki shouted, nearly dropping his bag from rage.

"Oh, sorry, my mistake," Ridan said, completely unapologetic. "But now you know."

Hazuki sighed and grumbled under his breath. "One day I’ll get you exorcised just for peace and quiet..."

"Promises, promises~," Ridan sang.

Hazuki finally arrived in front of a long wooden house with a worn fence and a crooked sign he couldn’t read.

"Hmm? What is this place?" Hazuki asked, looking around.

Ridan floated beside him, still unusually quiet for once.

There weren’t many kids around, just seven or eight. One human, one elf, the rest beastkin. All of them looked between six and ten years old, peeking from behind the fence or sitting in the shade.

Hazuki, being Hazuki, smiled and gave a little wave as he plopped his mountain of goods onto the ground.

The kids stared for two seconds, then bolted inside like they’d just seen a monster.

"...Eh?" Hazuki blinked.

Ridan sighed and shook his cloudy head. "Don’t smile, dumbass. You smile creepy."

"For real?"

"Yeah. Lucky Ellyn didn’t run when you flashed that serial killer grin."

"Oi! Don’t bring Ellyn into this!"

"Yeah, yeah..." Ridan waved him off. "Anyway... just wait."

Hazuki looked around. "Wait? For what?"

Ridan’s smirk returned. "You’ll see."

( End Of Chapter )