ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 146: Madness Unleashed ( )

"OI, CHILL MAN!!" Hazuki shouted, eyes wide as several lizardkin bandits lunged at him with short swords and daggers.

Above him, spinning in joyful loops, Ridan cheered like it was a pay-per-view boxing match. No one else could see the smug, cloudy idiot grinning with devilish delight.

"Punch him! Yeah, kick him, Hazuki! Oop—your left, watch your left!"

Hazuki ducked under a wild swing, then side-stepped to avoid a clumsy thrust from another bandit. His movements were smooth—effortless, even—like he wasn’t trying at all, yet still dodged everything.

"What the hell is wrong with you guys?!" Hazuki barked, genuinely confused.

"I just wanted to buy some wares! Do you sell belts? Gloves? Food?!"

One of the bandits stumbled as his blade missed, blinking in frustration.

"This guy’s mocking us!!"

From inside the wooden carriage, a young beastkin girl screamed in panic:

"They’re bandits!"

Hazuki froze mid-dodge.

"...Wait, what?"

The girl pressed herself protectively against her mother’s arms.

"They attacked us! They stole the driver’s money and beat the guards!" she cried out.

Hazuki blinked.

Looked left.

Looked right.

The bloody driver.

The traitorous ’guard’ casually watching the chaos.

The terrified beastkin passengers.

"...Oh."

Ridan cackled from above, doing barrel rolls in the air.

"Took him long enough, folks! This guy’s brain is powered by grilled fish and delayed realization!"

"Shut up!!" Hazuki shouted upward, drawing his slime-core sword in a flash.

The blade shimmered light green—just a faint gleam, but enough to make a few of the smarter bandits flinch.

One of them stepped forward, snarling.

"We don’t care who you are. You’re outnumbered!"

Hazuki looked around.

Eight lizardman bandits.

One human with a spear.

He exhaled, then grinned.

"Alright, You all ask for it."

"GYAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Hazuki let out a wild laugh that echoed down the quiet road, sounding like a lunatic who just lost at blackjack and found that violence was more fun.

He charged forward, kicking up dust, then leapt into the air, twisting.

"TAKE THIS, BOOT OF JUSTICE!!"

His foot came crashing down like a meteor, smashing into the head of the nearest lizardkin bandit with a satisfying CRACK. The bandit’s face hit the dirt before he even felt the pain.

Hazuki landed, grinning like a devil, then spun and delivered a side kick right into another bandit’s stomach—sending the poor lizardkin flying into a tree with a wheeze that sounded oddly like a harmonica.

"One! Two! That’s two discounted boots for today!"

Still laughing, Hazuki crouched down, picked up a fist-sized stone, and channeled mana into it—his palm glowing slightly.

"ROCKY CANNONBALL!!" he shouted, and threw the stone like a baseball pitch from hell.

SMACK!!

The stone hit a third bandit right in the snout, knocking out a tooth and a few of his life choices.

"GYAAAAHAHAHAHA!!"

Hazuki’s laughter now sounded completely crazy—like he was enjoying this way too much.

Ridan floated behind him, his eyes wide with excitement.

"...He’s gone full maniac. I love it."

The remaining bandits took a step back—clearly unsure whether they were facing a swordsman, a madman, or some crazy combination of both.

Then—

The spear-wielding traitor adventurer stepped forward, sneering.

"Enough playing around. I’ll kill this clown."

He lunged, thrusting his spear toward Hazuki’s gut with practiced skill—fast, clean, textbook move.

Hazuki tilted his body slightly.

The spear whooshed past him.

"...Too slow," Hazuki muttered.

The traitor blinked.

"Wait—what?"

Hazuki casually leaned to the side again as the next stab came, then the next. He wasn’t even trying to dodge; he just kept tilting—mockingly, lazily.

Ridan floated beside the traitor’s ear, whispering,

"Your spear moves like grandma knitting in slow motion."

Hazuki exhaled and cracked his neck.

"Alright. My turn."

Ridan zipped overhead like a caffeinated squirrel cloud.

He now wore a glittery male cheerleader outfit, complete with tiny pom-poms and a sleeveless crop-top that said "HAZUKI’S DOOM SQUAD" in sparkling letters.

"ALRIGHT!! CRUSH THEM ALL!!" he shouted, spinning like a possessed mascot at a cursed sports festival.

Meanwhile, Hazuki was laughing like a lunatic—his fists flying.

POW!

One bandit lost three teeth.

THUD!

Another was sent spinning through a bush with a roundhouse kick.

Hazuki ducked low, twisted, and brought his foot up into the chin of a charging lizardkin—the poor bastard launched into the air like he’d just discovered gravity for the first time.

"YEAHHH!! BOOT-FU STYLE!!" Hazuki roared.

Ridan floated past with jazz hands.

"Ten outta ten! The crowd’s going wild! Give this man a fish!"

But then—

The traitorous spear adventurer, now bleeding and furious, started chanting a spell. Magical circles lit up at his feet, glowing blue and red, his voice rising—

Hazuki blinked.

"...What the hell is he mumbling about?"

Without hesitation, he bent down, picked up another rock, and—

WHAM!

Direct hit.

The chanting cut off with a sad gurgle. The adventurer faceplanted into the dirt, twitching, and the magic fizzled out.

Ridan gasped dramatically.

"OOOH!! INTERRUPTED!! That’s gotta hurt, folks!"

Hazuki strolled past, still riding the high from the chaos.

But then—he got too close to the carriage. Too close to the downed adventurer.

Ridan’s eyes lit up. In a flash of smoke and sparkles, the floating spirit cloud was suddenly wearing a sleek black suit jacket, aviator shades, and holding a shiny crystal microphone with a little floating platform under him.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEHHHHHN!!!"

He spun midair, glitter sparkles trailing behind him.

"FROM PARTS UNKNOWN—POWERED BY GRILLED FISH, BAD LUCK, AND A COMPLETE LACK OF TACTICAL PLANNING—IT’S THE UNDEFEATED IDIOT OF ANOTHER WORLD—"

He sucked in a breath.

"HAAAZUUUUUKIIIIIIIIII!!!"

Hazuki glanced down at the unconscious traitor, then up at the carriage roof, and then back at the crowd of half-conscious bandits.

He grinned.

"...I’ve always wanted to try this."

With surprising speed, Hazuki jumped onto the carriage, boots thudding against the wooden roof.

He struck a wild pose, fists raised, back arched like a victorious anime protagonist.

"GYAHAHAHAHA!!"

The beastkin passengers looked up in pure confusion, while Ridan vibrated in the air like a stadium speaker.

"OH NO!! OH MY GOD!! HE’S REALLY DOING IT, FOLKS!!"

Hazuki bent his knees, crouching like a spring-loaded lunatic.

Ridan flew into the sky above, screaming at the top of his nonexistent lungs:

"HE’S ON THE CARRIAGE! HE’S LOOKING DOWN AT THE TRAITOR!!"

"HE’S GOIN’ FOR IT!!" Ridan roared.

Hazuki launched himself from the roof.

The traitorous spear adventurer, still groaning on the ground, opened one eye—

only to see Hazuki’s entire body dropping from above like fate’s dumbest sledgehammer.

The ground shook.

Dust exploded outward.

Hazuki landed directly on the adventurer’s chest, knees bent and fist raised in the air like he’d just defeated the Demon King.

( End Of Chapter )