ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 147: Treasure and Trash ( )

"Alright, Hazuki! Time to loot the money!!"

Ridan zipped in wild circles around Hazuki’s head, leaving tiny sparkles of excitement in his wake. He landed neatly on Hazuki’s shoulder like a pirate’s cursed parrot.

Hazuki wiped the dust from his hands, flashing a grin.

Ridan leaned in close, whispering like a devil.

"This adventurer guy surely has a lot of coin... Take all their pouches."

Hazuki’s eyes gleamed.

"Alright!!" he declared, fist pumping like a victorious kid about to buy candy.

He crouched beside the unconscious spear adventurer first, expertly untying the guy’s belt pouch and tossing it into his own satchel.

Clink. Clink.

The sweet music of heavy coins filled the air.

Ridan chuckled darkly, his cloud body puffing up in satisfaction.

"Think of this as your reward, kekekekekeke~"

Hazuki moved quickly, working like a street cleaner after a festival.

He wasn’t just grabbing gold. No—he knew the basic adventurer rules: anything valuable could be resold.

"Man, today’s haul ain’t bad at all!"

He whistled as he snatched up another bag of coins.

A glint of silver caught his eye—a fine dagger, probably stolen goods.

Hazuki pocketed it casually.

"Oi!"

Ridan barked, puffing himself bigger like an angry balloon on Hazuki’s shoulder.

"Throw those daggers away! You think your side bag has enough room for trash?!"

Hazuki froze mid-looting, dagger in hand.

He glanced at his already bulging, worn-out side bag.

"...You’re right."

Without missing a beat, Hazuki dropped to the ground, dumped the entire bag’s contents right beside the unconscious adventurer—and started sorting like a bargain bin shopper on clearance day.

"Alright, let’s see—"

He grabbed one pair of worn pants.

"My emergency pants."

Next, he found a second shirt with suspicious grill stains.

"My lucky shirt."

Then the rusty dagger.

Hazuki held it between two fingers, examining it like it smelled bad.

"Ugh, definitely trash."

He flung it backward over his shoulder without looking—where it promptly hit the downed adventurer’s helmet with a loud CLANG.

Ridan floated above, shaking in silent laughter.

Hazuki kept going, grumbling to himself:

"This broken spoon? Out." (throw)

"This cracked wooden mug? Nah." (throw)

"Ah, this necklace looks fancy—might be worth a lot!" (kept, grinning)

More and more random junk flew behind him like a human trash cannon, and the pile grew.

At some point, a second rusty dagger landed neatly on top of the first unconscious bandit’s head like a bizarre hat.

The beastkin passengers inside the carriage just stared, jaws dropped, as Hazuki kept muttering, throwing, and sorting like a raccoon organizing his treasure stash.

Ridan floated higher, hands on his misty hips.

"And this, kids, is why idiots should never be trusted with inventory management."

Hazuki, still grinning, stuffed the valuable-looking accessories, coin pouches, and one clean belt back into his bag.

"Alright! Sorted and loaded!"

Inside the carriage, the little beastkin girl peeked nervously through a cracked window. Her golden eyes watched as Hazuki flung junk backward like a madman, chatting cheerfully with... absolutely no one.

"Umm... Father, Mother..." she whispered, tugging on her mother’s sleeve.

"That black-haired human... he’s throwing loot everywhere. And... he’s talking to the air."

Her mother smiled stiffly, pulling the girl close.

"Honey, don’t say that."

She forced a polite laugh.

"At least... he saved us. That’s what matters."

The father, a middle-aged beastkin in slightly tattered merchant robes, leaned closer to the window. His furry ears twitched.

He lowered his voice to a worried whisper.

"I think... I remember hearing rumors."

He gulped.

"About a black-haired human... wandering around... talking to the sky... doing crazy things. They called him... the Crazy Guy."

The mother gasped softly.

The little girl’s eyes widened even more.

Outside, Hazuki joyfully tossed another useless boot into the bushes behind him, still muttering:

"Nope, not this one! Hmm, fancy belt? Maybe worth a dinner or two!"

Ridan floated beside him like a smug little stormcloud, now wearing a tiny golden crown and munching imaginary popcorn.

"Nope, not this one."

He flicked away a chipped dagger.

"Okay, this one keep."

He stuffed a shiny bracelet into his bag.

Then he grabbed something slimy and suspiciously fuzzy.

Hazuki froze.

"Eww, what is this?" he said, holding it up between two fingers as if it might bite him. His face scrunched in pure horror.

He turned to his shoulder.

"Oi, Ridan—is this yours?!"

Ridan, floating proudly beside him, puffed up indignantly.

"OI! I’M NOT THE ONE WHO COLLECTS TRASH, IDIOT!!"

Hazuki chuckled, casually flinging the mystery item over his shoulder—where it landed with a wet plop somewhere behind him.

The beastkin family flinched inside the carriage as it hit the ground.

The father whispered shakily,

"He’s arguing... with the air..."

The mother nodded nervously.

"...Let’s just be grateful he’s on our side."

Meanwhile, Hazuki wiped his hands on his pants and proudly stuffed more actually valuable accessories into his bag.

"Oi!"

Ridan barked, still floating lazily beside Hazuki’s head.

"What?" Hazuki grunted, tugging stubbornly at a shiny object.

"Those beastkin... they’re like, waiting for you."

Hazuki glanced toward the carriage where the beastkin family huddled, looking half-scared, half-hopeful.

"Oh? Hang on, almost done here..."

He gritted his teeth, yanking hard at a silver ring stuck on a lizardkin’s scaly finger.

"C’mon, you stubborn bastard...!"

POP.

The ring finally slipped off with a wet squelch.

"Fuhh! Now back to business!" Hazuki declared proudly, tossing the ring into his side bag along with the rest of his loot.

As he turned, the beastkin father—a grizzled merchant with worry lines etched deep into his face—bowed deeply at the waist.

"Oh, human... Thank you for saving us."

His voice trembled slightly.

"If you are willing, we can offer you a ride to the next town as our thanks."

Hazuki scratched the back of his head, glancing sideways.

"Hmm... what do you think, Ridan?"

Ridan snorted, spinning in slow circles.

"How would I know, idiot? It’s up to you."

He puffed out his cheeks.

"Besides, a carriage is faster... and you can sleep on the back like a lazy stray dog."

Hazuki’s eyes lit up.

"Yeah... good point. Agree."

He turned back to the beastkin family, grinning wide.

"Alright!!" he said, **thrusting a thumb at himself proudly.

"The back of the carriage is mine!!"

The beastkin father blinked, a bit startled.

The little girl giggled behind her mother’s skirt.

The mother smiled, relieved that their savior was, at the very least, on their side.

( End Of Chapter )