ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 145: Fish, Friends, and Follies ( )

Far behind the stream—

in the trampled ruins of a grassy field—

Six figures lay sprawled, twitching.

Clothes torn.

Armor dented.

Elegance... obliterated.

The elven heroes, once summoned as paragons of beauty and power—

now lay defiled,

bodies smeared in orc scent and shining residue that clung to skin, hair, and shame.

They didn’t speak.

They couldn’t.

Only quiet sobs escaped their lips, trembling with a mixture of disbelief and despair.

What haunted them wasn’t just the stickiness staining their faces

or the lingering heat they still felt inside—

but the way the orcs had done it.

Tenderly.

The orcs hadn’t simply ravaged them.

They had kissed them,

caressed their cheeks,

whispered sweet nothings with cracked voices and sharp teeth.

Each elf bore a love bite somewhere on their neck, shoulder, or thigh—

marks left with careful affection

that made everything worse.

One of them finally broke.

He curled up into a fetal ball and sobbed, voice breaking:

"They said I was... soft... like a marshmallow..."

The others didn’t answer.

They couldn’t.

Their grace had been shattered.

And in its place—

Sticky silence.

They lay there.

Silent. Trembling. Curled up like children.

The six elven heroes who once boasted grace, skill, and pride...

now reduced to shaking wrecks, faces stained with tears and something far worse.

Their breaths came in shallow gasps.

Their clothes clung to them, sticky and ruined.

Their bodies were marked—not just bruised, but claimed.

Each of them bore a kiss mark,

a bite,

a lingering warmth that haunted far more than any physical pain.

One of them whispered, voice hoarse:

"They... said I was their favorite..."

Another sobbed harder.

They didn’t speak of revenge.

Or home.

Or pride.

Only one thought echoed between them:

"Just... let it end."

Then—

Thudding steps.

The ground trembled.

A group of minotaurs emerged from the treeline—

massive beasts with horns, hooves, and muscles that rippled with threat.

They stopped.

Snorted.

Saw the scene.

The six elegant elves, broken, covered, motionless in the grass.

The minotaurs blinked.

Stared for a long second.

One of them leaned forward slightly.

Then—

They turned.

Bolted.

Faster than they had ever run in their lives.

The elf lying closest to the road didn’t even lift his head.

Meanwhile... at the stream.

The soft crackle of firewood.

The scent of sizzling fish.

The breeze carrying a peaceful hum.

"Grill fiiiiiish!!"

Ridan spun in tiny loops over the campfire, floating just above the skewered trout like a hungry child.

"Uooh!! Crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside~!"

He circled the roasting fish in pure excitement, puffing sparks of smoke from his cloud cheeks.

Hazuki sat cross-legged, grinning proudly.

Ridan extended a cloudy finger, gently booping the edge of the fish.

The moment his misty touch made contact—

MUNCH.

He started miming chewing with tiny cloud teeth.

"Mmm~ fish fish fish fish fish~!" frёeωebɳovel.com

He floated around Hazuki’s head like a child on a sugar high.

Hazuki laughed.

"Don’t finish it all before I get my share, you thieving cloud."

"No promises~!" Ridan sang, grabbing another bite with an invisible mouth.

Hazuki rolled his eyes and flipped the next skewer.

"Whatever, Mr. Floating Food Critic."

They both relaxed in the warmth of the fire—

unaware of the chaos they’d left behind...

and the fate waiting ahead.

"Oi, Hazuki."

"Mm?" Hazuki looked up, mouth half-full of flaky fish.

"Put some water in your waterskin. Grab all the grilled fish."

Hazuki blinked. "Why? I just sat down."

Ridan floated a little lower, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Well... I mean, it’s up to you... if you wanna be an orc’s sweet little honeybun~"

Hazuki froze mid-chew.

"...Oi. Not funny."

"I’m dead serious. Wanna get caught with your pants down again?"

"...I wasn’t even—ugh, fine!!"

Hazuki stood, quickly shoving fish into cloth wraps and pouring stream water into his waterskin.

"Can’t even enjoy a break without being chased off..."

"You can eat while walking. Problem solved."

"Jeez... you really can’t sit still, huh?"

Ridan puffed out his cloudy chest smugly.

"If you owned the land, maybe."

Hazuki groaned.

"...One day I’m buying a mountain just to spite you."

Hazuki stretched his arms overhead, grinning lazily.

"Man... it’s nice to walk like this. Beautiful scenery."

The breeze swayed the grass, birds chirped, and sunlight filtered through the trees ahead.

"Yes! That’s the spirit!" Ridan floated in circles around him.

"Walking is better! Peaceful! Safe!"

Hazuki chuckled and slowed his pace.

"If only I could walk like this... with my future wife."

"OI!" Ridan snapped.

"You ruin the mood instantly!!"

Hazuki sighed dreamily.

"...Still worth it."

But—

Not far ahead.

Just beyond a bend in the forest path—

Chaos.

A passenger carriage, wooden and modest, used for transporting common beastkin across towns, sat at the roadside—its wheels cracked and its driver bleeding near a tree.

Several lizardkin bandits surrounded it, armed with short swords and jagged knives.

"Give me all your money!" one snarled, pressing a blade to an elder beastkin’s throat.

Inside the carriage, a young beastkin girl clung to her mother, trembling.

Another bandit grinned wide.

"Hey, you beautiful furball~"

He licked his lips as he slowly unbuckled his belt, stepping toward a beastkin woman with a terrified look.

"Don’t worry, girls. We’re just here for fun too."

But worst of all?

One of the adventurers who had been hired to protect the carriage—

was one of them.

He stood casually nearby, leaning on his spear, watching the terror unfold with a crooked smile.

"Oh, Ridan!" Hazuki perked up as he spotted the stationary carriage just ahead.

"Look at that! Maybe it’s a traveling merchant? Could be selling stuff!"

Ridan blinked, narrowing his cloud eyes.

"...You sure about that? Something feels—"

But Hazuki was already jogging forward with full tourist energy, waving one hand cheerfully.

"YO! What are you guys buying!? Got any snacks? Weapons? Discounted boots?"

Everything stopped.

The lizardkin bandits, who were just seconds away from committing something unspeakable, froze.

One of them—mid-belt unbuckling—paused, fingers still on the strap.

The elder beastkin, the girls, even the traitorous human adventurer—all turned slowly toward the sudden voice.

Hazuki stood there.

Grinning like an idiot.

Sword sheathed.

Boots dusty.

Face completely serious about shopping.

Ridan floated up behind him, sweat-dropping mid-air.

"...You absolute dumbass."

One of the bandits blinked.

"Who the hell... are you?"

Hazuki tilted his head.

"Huh? Just a guy looking to buy something. Do you... sell stuff or...?"

The lizardkin with the belt hanging off finally snapped.

"GET HIM!!"

( End of Chapter )