ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 144: Panic on the Plains ( )

The carriage wheels picked up speed, the creaking wood echoing down the stone-paved road as it rolled toward the city gate.

Dust kicked up behind it.

Hazuki leaned out from the side, gripping the frame tightly—eyes fixed behind him.

"UNCLE!!"

Ellyn’s voice rang out, strong and high despite the distance.

"DON’T FORGET ABOUT ME, OKAY!?"

Hazuki stood up a little straighter, his heart thudding in his chest.

He cupped both hands to his mouth and shouted back:

"I WON’T!! DON’T WORRY, ELLYN!!"

The distance between them grew.

Ellyn kept waving with both hands—her figure getting smaller by the second.

Then—a single tear slipped down her cheek.

She didn’t stop smiling.

But the slight tremble in her lips said enough.

Inside the carriage, Hazuki dropped back into his seat, still looking out the window until she disappeared from view.

He whispered to himself, just loud enough for Ridan to hear:

"She really was... my first love."

Ridan didn’t say anything.

He just floated quietly for once, arms crossed, watching the road ahead.

The steady rhythm of the carriage wheels, the warm breeze, and the emotional weight finally caught up to Hazuki.

He hadn’t slept at all.

His head tilted forward.

His eyelids grew heavy.

And slowly—

Hazuki drifted off to sleep, a soft snore slipping past his lips.

Ridan, floating nearby inside the carriage, glanced at him.

The spirit frowned slightly.

It’s happening... sooner than I thought.

He didn’t say anything out loud.

He just floated there in silence, watching over the idiot he was bound to.

And then—

bump.

The carriage hit a small rise on the road.

Hazuki rolled.

"Mm... Ellyna..." he muttered in his sleep.

He kept rolling.

And—

THUNK.

"UUGHH—!"

Hazuki’s eyes snapped open—just in time to feel his body slam into the dirt road.

"WHAT THE HELL—!?!"

He flailed for a second, groaning.

Then he sat up quickly, eyes wide.

"THE CARRIAGE!?"

He looked around—

Gone.

Completely.

Not even the dust trail remained.

"Ridan!? Ridan where are—"

Suddenly, the air shimmered behind him, like a ripple on the surface of water.

Before Hazuki could even stand—

the ground beneath him twisted.

The air sucked inward, light bending unnaturally.

And then—

Hazuki sat up, face red, dirt in his mouth.

"UGH—MY NOSE!!"

He rubbed his face, spitting out a pebble.

"...What the hell just—"

Ridan floated down beside him, this time not laughing.

His face was dead serious.

"Hazuki."

"...Huh?"

"Run."

Hazuki blinked.

"Or what?"

Ridan didn’t flinch.

"Or your ass is about to be on someone’s menu."

"...Wha—?"

Hazuki slowly turned around.

And saw them.

A horde.

Dozens—maybe hundreds—of huge, hulking, green-skinned ORC MALES.

All of them shirtless.

All of them sweaty.

All of them glaring straight at him.

In heat.

And according to local isekai biology—

They only target males.

Hazuki’s brain needed exactly 0.3 seconds to process.

"GYAAAAAAAHHH!!"

Hazuki screamed, sprinting across the grassy plains like a madman possessed.

Behind him—

A horde of massive, muscular male orcs.

Snorting. Panting.

In heat.

And definitely targeting him.

Ridan floated next to him, keeping pace mid-air.

"Channel your mana into your legs, idiot!!"

Hazuki shouted back between gasps:

"I CAN’T!! Mana only works on items!!"

"THEN CHANNEL IT INTO YOUR BOOTS!!"

Hazuki growled, almost sobbing.

"UGH!!! I’M TRYING!!"

Meanwhile—

Somewhere nearby...

A group of six riders galloped down a ridge.

At the center rode three elegant men, their long elven hair flowing, armor polished, each with an otherworldly grace.

They weren’t born of this world.

They were the summoned heroes of the Elven Kingdom.

One of them adjusted his reins with a sigh.

"Queen Zira said we should avoid other human heroes... or fight them if necessary."

"Yeah, but I doubt we’d lose to them anyway," the second said, casually flipping his hair.

The third smirked.

"According to reports, all the human-summoned heroes are female."

"Then it’ll be easy. We’ve got the looks. We’ve got the skills."

They all nodded smugly.

And then—

WHOOSH.

A blur of black hair and a torn cloak darted between them, shrieking.

The six elves blinked.

The black-haired human vanished past them in seconds.

"...Was that—?"

"—A human?"

"...A male human?"

"Did he just apologize while crying?"

"...What the hell just happened?"

Then—

The earth trembled.

Dozens. No—hundreds of massive male orcs charged after him, roaring.

All six elves stared in frozen horror.

As Hazuki ran with the desperation of a man being chased by his worst nightmare, he heard it—

"ARRRHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Six simultaneous, high-pitched screams echoed across the plains behind him.

Hazuki flinched mid-run.

"...Wait. Was that—?"

He turned his head slightly—just enough to catch a glimpse.

The six elegant elven men—once proud, graceful, and full of swagger—were now entirely overwhelmed by the massive, sweaty, green tide.

Arms flailing.

Cloaks torn.

Eyes wide in unspeakable horror.

"Sob sob... sorry guys..." Hazuki whimpered, tears flying from his eyes as he turned back forward.

Ridan zipped in beside him, laughing like a maniac.

"FASTER!!" he shouted.

"Hundred-on-six!? Not enough! If you’re late, you’re NEXT!!"

"I AM RUNNING!!!"

"Then run FASTER, idiot!!" Ridan barked, floating backward in front of Hazuki, grinning.

He slowly reached behind his cloud-body—

and tapped his backside twice.

"Or this... will happen to YOU."

Hazuki screamed louder.

"I’M NOT GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN!!!"

From behind—

Another chorus of elf-shrieks echoed across the field.

"AAARRRRRGHHHHHHHHH!!"

They weren’t dying.

Just...

Heh.

After what felt like hours of soul-scarring sprinting, Hazuki finally collapsed by a quiet stream, face flushed, chest heaving.

His boots were soaked.

His lungs burned.

He knelt by the water, scooping a handful to splash on his face.

"Ugh... finally... peace..." he mumbled.

He sat down, pulled off one boot, and started poking at a blister.

Then—

He got an idea.

"...I wonder if I can catch fish with this thing."

He pulled out his slime-core sword and started blindly swinging it into the water like a drunk fisherman with zero patience.

Ridan, floating nearby, said nothing.

Not a smirk.

Not a roast.

Just silence.

His eyes, for once, were thoughtful.

He doesn’t know.

He doesn’t know why the orcs didn’t catch him.

Why he ran right between the elven heroes.

Why he’s here at all.

Ridan stared at Hazuki as the idiot stood barefoot in the stream, muttering curses every time he missed a fish.

They chose him.

They made sure he’d pass the elves.

Because this idiot... is the only one who might stop them all.

No kingdoms.

No oaths.

No manipulation.

Just one clueless guy with a huge mana pool, a rare skill he doesn’t understand, and the weirdest luck in the world.

Ridan floated higher, looking at the horizon.

Well... first step complete.

They met.

Whether the elves realize it or not... fate just punched them in the face.

Back below—

SPLASH.

"AH! GOT ONE!!" Hazuki cheered, holding a wriggling fish on his sword.

He grinned proudly.

"...Guess I’m not totally useless in this world."

Ridan smirked again.

"...You have no idea, dumbass."

( End Of Chapter )