ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 170: Mischief with Ridan ( )

"Ah, welcome, customer," the beastkin woman greeted warmly.

"Oh, hello," Hazuki replied casually, already noticing Ridan floating nearby—of course he was staring at the shopkeeper’s chest, totally unashamed.

Hazuki tried to ignore him and focused on the shelf.

"Lady? How much is this one?" he asked, pointing at a sturdy-looking leather bag.

"Oh, that one?" She smiled. "Since it’s real leather, it’s 50 silver coins."

Inside Hazuki’s mind, alarms were ringing.

Whoa... expensive. My side bag only cost me 10 copper... and that was probably a used one, once owned by a corpse.

"This bag is good," the lady said, patting it gently. "It’s made of tough leather, very sturdy, waterproof, and perfect for an adventurer."

Meanwhile, Ridan had smugly landed right between her breasts, arms crossed, looking very pleased.

She didn’t notice him at all, of course.

Hazuki deadpanned. "Of course you’d be there."

"How about this one, customer?" the beastkin lady asked cheerfully, holding up a slightly larger leather bag. "This design really suits you. Only 70 silver coins."

Hazuki looked at the bag.

Hmmm... it’s a bit bigger than my old one... and since it’s leather, it’s tough enough for adventuring. Especially with a floating spirit partner who can’t sit still for five seconds.

"Seventy silver, huh..." he mumbled, thinking hard.

Suddenly, Ridan floated back over and started chanting like a drunken salesman.

"Buy! Buy! Buy! From the big melon lady—buy it!!"

"Ugh!!" Hazuki groaned, almost twitching in irritation.

The shopkeeper tilted her head in confusion. "Mister customer? Is everything alright?"

"Ah... no, nothing. I’ll take this one," Hazuki said with a forced smile, pushing the annoying spirit out of his mind.

"Oh~ thank you, mister customer!" the lady smiled brightly.

Hazuki handed her the one gold coin he earned earlier and slung the new leather bag over his shoulder, admiring how tough and sturdy it felt.

"Wait here, mister customer. I’ll go get your change."

"Okay," Hazuki nodded, sighing inside while Ridan spun around above him like an idiot.

"Well, this lady’s good," Ridan said smugly, floating lazily in the air. "Her melons! Her melons!! But... meh, I got bored."

Hazuki sighed as if releasing all the regrets of having a ghostly pervert as his guide.

Just in time, the shopkeeper returned with a bright smile and a small pouch.

"Mister customer, here’s your 30 silver coin change. Thank you for shopping with us!"

"Yeah... thank you too." Hazuki accepted the pouch and gave a slight bow. "If I may, can I use that table over there?"

"For what, mister customer?"

"Ah, I just want to transfer the items from this old bag to the new one." He held up his worn, slightly sad-looking bag.

"Oh, yes! Please, go ahead." She nodded politely, stepping aside.

Hazuki went over to the table, mumbling as he pulled out his stuff one by one, while Ridan hovered behind him like a nosy cloud.

"Alright, let’s start with these accessories..." Hazuki began sorting through his bag, then suddenly recoiled. "Ugh! My dirty clothes! Ewww..."

"Wha—! You forgot to throw that away?" Ridan hovered with disgust.

"No way!! This is the only shirt I have from my old world. My treasure! My memory!!"

"Oh yeah... the bad memory," Ridan teased with a sly smirk. "Smells like your failure too."

"Damn it! Ugh!"

Just then, the shopkeeper leaned in slightly, looking concerned.

"Umm... mister customer?"

"Yes?" Hazuki straightened up, acting like he hadn’t just argued with thin air.

"Is everything alright?"

"Ah, yes! Just... uh, is there any place around here that offers laundry service?"

"Oh! The shop next door does. They use wind magic to dry things fast, though they still wash everything by hand."

"Ohhh! That’s good! Thank you, beautiful~" Hazuki grinned.

"My~ thank you." She giggled, clearly amused.

Hazuki adjusted the new leather bag on his shoulder and gave it a few thoughtful pats.

"Yeah... this feels nice. Sturdy, roomy... not bad at all."

He then looked down at his old side bag, worn out, with the strap barely hanging on.

"Umm... lady?"

"Yes, mister customer?" she replied in her gentle tone.

"I don’t really want to throw this away, but I don’t have any extra space anymore. Could you maybe... help me with it? Like, gift it to someone who might need it?"

The shopkeeper smiled warmly and took the bag carefully.

"Of course. I’ll make sure it finds a good home."

"Thanks again." Hazuki gave a small wave and stepped out of the shop.

Once the door closed behind him, the lady looked down at the old bag, giving it a quick once-over. A small grin tugged at her lips.

"Hmm... with a bit of stitching and polish, this can sell for at least 30 copper."

She let out a quiet hum, amused, before setting it aside with care.

Hazuki lingered near the entrance of the bag shop, arms crossed as he stared at the laundry place next door.

"Ridan?"

"What now?"

"I wonder how long they’re gonna take to finish washing those clothes..."

Ridan spun lazily in the air above him. "Heh... you’re worried about that one stinky shirt, but look at you. The clothes you’re wearing now? I don’t even know how long they’ve been stuck to your skin. You can’t smell it?"

Hazuki flinched. "Huh? I don’t stink!"

"I know, dumb dumb! But still, go buy some fresh clothes already. Let them wash the ones you gave them and the ones you’re wearing now!"

Hazuki muttered under his breath. "Ugh... fine..."

Ridan twirled like a ribbon caught in the wind. "That’s the spirit. Let’s find a stall with clean shirts before you start attracting flies!"

"I’m not!"

"Heh! We don’t know that yet."

Hazuki let out a long sigh. Even if Ridan was annoying, at least with him around, he was never bored.

"Alright, my GPS spirit. Show me the best clothing shop... err... around this much?" He held up five silver coins.

"Stingy human!" Ridan snorted. "Fine, I’ll find you one..."

He floated higher, scanned the street, then suddenly pointed excitedly. "OHHHH!! That big melon lady! Go there! Go there!!"

Hazuki cringed. "Ewww! You’re weird! That lady is big in every way!"

"For you! Not for me! I’m an ancient spirit! For someone like me who’s been around for more than a thousand years, that lady’s just a kid!"

Hazuki slapped his forehead. "You’re using your age as an excuse for your fetish now?"

Ridan floated smugly. "It’s called perspective, peasant."

( End of Chapter )