ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 158: Zap! Boom! Goblins ( )

As they walked out of the guild into the open street, Hazuki stretched lazily and looked around.

"Alright, Ridan. Lead the way to that goblin settlement."

Ridan floated up and halted mid-air.

"Huh? Why me?"

Hazuki tilted his head.

"Eh? Weren’t you, like, some-something-ancient-spirit or whatever?"

Ridan puffed his misty chest out proudly.

He pointed at Hazuki like a floating drama queen.

"I am the strongest spirit you could ever have! You should call me—THE MIGHTY RIDAN-SAMA! With a title! With respect! With awe!"

Hazuki gave a slow, exaggerated nod.

"Oh~ I’m so sorry, Rudal-sama."

Ridan froze mid-air.

"...It’s Ridan."

Hazuki blinked innocently.

"Oh, sorry again, Ramen-sama."

"... "**

"Did I say it wrong again, Ruda-sama?"

"YOU’RE DOING THAT ON PURPOSE!!"

Ridan spun in place like a cursed balloon about to pop.

Hazuki laughed while walking down the dirt road out of town, completely ignoring the passing townsfolk’s curious glances.

"Heh. Let’s go, Spirit GPS. We got goblins to bankrupt."

Ridan groaned, floating ahead.

"This is the dumbest hero journey I’ve ever been stuck in."

He sighed dramatically, drifting forward with just the right amount of sulking.

"Fine... I’ll lead the way."

Hazuki narrowed his eyes, smirking.

"Heh... I know that smirk. You’re gonna make me regret this, aren’t you?"

Ridan didn’t even deny it.

"Oi! At least trust me on this one! I’m guiding you straight to the goblin grunk-grunk murder-fest or whatever it is."

Hazuki waved a hand lazily.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Tell you what—" he leaned forward slightly, "if you help me blast these goblins, or whatever brainless things they are, we’re eating the expensive meat next time."

Ridan suddenly stopped mid-air, slowly turning.

And then, with a grin most unholy for a cloud spirit, he spun dramatically like a majestic waiter.

"Oho~ now we’re talking."

"That’s the deal. Now fly, you smoky meat detector."

"With honor, broke adventurer-sama."

As they headed toward the town gate, Hazuki let out a theatrical sigh.

"Haaa... why are all the girls here full furry, man..."

Ridan floated lazily beside him, arms crossed.

"Heh. Not like you can ogle them anyway."

Hazuki frowned.

"I know... but at least give me some scenery, man. Scenery!"

He waved his hands as if painting a picture.

"Don’t forget, dumbass." Ridan leaned closer, smirking.

"You’re stuck on one girl. One. Girl. Only. No harem."

Hazuki’s face twitching, then suddenly his expression melted into a dreamy droop, eyes glazed, drool threatening to slide down his chin.

He began shuffling along like a love-zombie.

"Ahh... Ellyn~"

Ridan floated silently, watching Hazuki go full romantic.

"The kid one?"

"OI!! THE ADULT ONE!!" Hazuki snapped back, waving his arms.

Ridan smirked and spun.

"Heh~ same body, same face~ just shorter~"

"Shut up!!"

Hazuki covered his ears, blushing furiously as he stomped.

As Hazuki and Ridan approached the town gate, Hazuki was still mid-rant.

"—And I said, it’s not weird, okay!? I respect her in all forms!"

Ridan floated along casually, grinning.

"Sure you do. That’s what all the weirdos say."

They passed the two fully armored gate guards, standing tall and stiff.

Hazuki glanced at them.

"Err... excuse me—"

No response.

"Aren’t you supposed to check my quest form or... anything?"

One of the guards slowly turned his head—then looked straight past Hazuki.

He looked up at the sky.

"Nice clouds today, huh?" he said to no one in particular.

The other guard nodded solemnly.

"Mmm. Very cloud-like."

Hazuki blinked, confused.

"...You’re ignoring me, aren’t you."

No answer.

Ridan floated beside him, snickering.

"They’ve officially written you off as the town’s registered lunatic."

Hazuki pouted and simply walked through the gate, unopposed.

"Alright!! Let’s hit the goblin settlement!" Hazuki pumped his fist, bright-eyed and eager.

"Hazuki." Ridan’s tone suddenly shifted—more serious.

"What now?"

"Point that sword toward the sky and channel your mana."

Hazuki blinked.

"What for?"

"Just focus, man. You want it easy or hard?"

"Err... easy what?"

"JUST POINT THE DAMN SWORD TO THE SKY!!"

"Alright, chill!!" Hazuki muttered, pulling out his greenish-metal blade.

He unsheathed it and slowly raised it overhead, blade pointed at the clouds.

"Now what?"

"Channel everything." Ridan hovered beside the blade, eyes gleaming.

"Dump your mana into that thing until it screams."

"Uhh... okay."

Hazuki took a deep breath, focusing. Gritting his teeth, he pushed his mana into the sword—

and it started to spark. Blue and green crackles danced along the blade.

The air grew heavy. Wind shifted. Birds scattered from nearby trees.

Animals in the distance bolted away, screaming.

Hazuki blinked.

"What now?"

"Just keep focusing. Channel it until its limit."

"Okay, okay..." He squeezed his eyes shut and poured more mana in.

The sword glowed like a supercharged battery—lightning coiling around it, swirling into a massive ball of energy above the blade.

Ridan grinned maniacally and reached out, touching the sword gently with one hand.

He began to chant in an ancient, forgotten tongue—

and the lightning ball swelled to the size of a wagon wheel, buzzing with raw elemental power.

Hazuki’s hair lifted slightly from the pressure. Nearby trees rustled like a storm was brewing.

"More! MORE!" Ridan cackled madly.

"Let the sky hear our wrath!!"

Hazuki grit his teeth.

"Alright!!"

And with one final push of mana, he swung his sword forward—releasing the entire charge skyward.

The lightning ball erupted into a deafening explosion of thunder, detonating in the clouds above, casting shocking flashes across the sky.

Hazuki blinked, blinking in stunned silence.

"...Did we just announce our arrival?"

Ridan floated with his arms crossed, smug as hell.

"Nope," he said, grinning wide.

"We didn’t announce anything." He leaned in closer to Hazuki’s ear.

"We just welcomed those goblins... to Hell. Our Hell."

Hazuki blinked, processing his words.

"...What?"

Above, the glowing mana-charged lightning sphere suddenly froze in mid-air.

With a deafening crack, it unleashed a torrent of unstoppable thunder, streaking downward like divine punishment.

In the distance, deep within the forest—

A patch of trees exploded in a surge of lightning and flame.

And it didn’t stop.

The lightning kept raining down relentlessly, tearing through the woods as if nature itself was being erased line by line.

Amidst the chaos, distant shrieks echoed through the forest—

"Guhiiii! GUHIIII!!"

"Guhuk!!"

"Gukak!!!"

"SHRIIIIKKKK!!!"

Hazuki took a slow step back, eyes wide.

"What was that?"

Ridan performed a slow, theatrical twirl mid-air, floating with dramatic flair.

"Oho~" he said, voice dripping with satisfaction.

"That... is what we call... goblin singing."

Hazuki stared in disbelief.

"...That was music?"

"To some ears, yes." Ridan smirked.

"Mostly the ears of gods who hate goblins."

( End Of Chapter )