I'm a Villainess, Can I Die?-Chapter 105

Carriages were lined up across the vast garden—larger and more imposing than your average personal ones, built more for war than leisure.

Next to the row of carriages stood warhorses, and alongside them, people stood in neat formation. Probably only about a third of the full force was present here.

The rest had already departed for the outer borders about two weeks ago. By now, they’d likely arrived.

At the front of the gathered crowd stood Father and Sir Lukas. They weren’t in full armor but wore light attire reinforced with pieces of leather armor.

Ah... so they really are leaving.

I stood at the doorway for a long time. It was only after my eyes met Father’s, far in the distance, that I began to slowly move. Drops of rain still clung to the grass, dampening my shoes.

The wet earth and dew reminded me again and again that this was real.

I walked past the line of servants stretched from the house to the carriages. It looked like everyone from the estate had come out.

I guess when something this important happens, everyone shows up.

There were more people than I expected. Most of them worked in different parts of the estate, and we didn’t have doormen like other noble houses, ➤ NоvеⅠight ➤ (Read more on our source) so there were plenty of unfamiliar faces.

Ah, but near the front I saw some I recognized—Ian, the doctor, Aiden, and Jane. As I passed them, I gave a small nod of acknowledgment.

I kept walking. One step at a time, until I finally reached the spot where my family stood.

“Selina.”

My brother called my name and held out his hand. I stared blankly at it for a moment before slowly placing mine in his.

He pulled gently, and I moved even more slowly, step by dragging step.

“Selina.”

Mother came to my side and wrapped her arms around my back. Her warm body and the steady, gentle patting of her hand comforted me. I glanced at her, then blinked and looked down.

My shoes were a mess, caked with mud and water. My mouth tasted bitter. My throat felt dry.

“Selina.”

At last, Father spoke my name. I had to hold my breath then. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to move.

Mother’s hand on my shoulder was my only anchor.

I swallowed hard and lifted my head.

Standing tall at the front of the formation, Father looked like a brave lion.

His blue eyes held no fear as he looked at me, unwavering.

And for some reason, that made me remember how he had once trembled.

“...Don’t... don’t you ever do that again. That day... the day I came to get you... do you have any idea what I felt, seeing you lying there on the ground...?”

He had said those words with a trembling voice. And yet, here he was, walking into danger himself, without even flinching.

I closed my eyes. Raised my right hand to feel along my left arm—but with the long sleeves, I couldn’t touch the scar.

Still, I knew where it was. I’d seen it, touched it, again and again.

That scar was my resolve.

My promise to live. To fulfill Eunji’s wish... which had become my own—my commitment to happiness.

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Whenever I was anxious or even calm, I would trace that scar to reaffirm my resolve.

I lowered my hand and took a step forward. My brother and mother, who had been holding on to me, naturally stepped aside.

I could feel puzzled stares behind me. And in front of me, too.

I stood tall, looked straight at Father, and stepped closer. When I was close enough to reach him, I extended both hands and took his.

“Be careful. I’ll be waiting. When you return... let’s celebrate my birthday together.”

The day Father’s composure had broken—the one thing that could shake his unshakable strength was family.

And among them, someone like me, teetering dangerously, must have worried him most.

So I used myself as leverage.

I told him I’d wait. That I’d be waiting for him.

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I looked down at his large hands, then raised my eyes. From below, his face was shadowed by the morning sun, making it hard for me to see. But he would be able to see me clearly.

I bit my lip, then slowly lifted the corners of my mouth into the brightest smile I could muster.

“...Alright, Selina. I promise. I’ll return safely, and we’ll throw you a grand birthday party.”

He released my hands and pulled me into a hug. The way his large hand patted my back was different from Mother’s, but one thing was the same—they were both so warm.

When I returned to my place, Mother and my brother looked at me with eyes full of affection.

“Honey, please come back safe. I’ll be waiting.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll return to you unharmed, I promise.”

Mother’s voice trembled a little, but she didn’t cry. I really thought she’d break down in tears...

“Father. Until you return, I’ll do my best to fill your place. But I still have much to learn. So please, return in one piece and continue to teach me.”

“I will. I promise.”

The brief exchange with Father ended, and now all eyes turned to the deputy commander.

“Lukas. You’re like a son to me. So you must return safely. Do you understand?”

Mother clasped Lukas’s hand, her voice slightly urgent.

It hurt just to watch her send him off like a real son into a battlefield.

Lukas smiled and nodded. “I understand,” he said.

...Was Lukas afraid right now?

Was that smile another shield for his fear?

“...I’ll be waiting. Unfortunately, you’re my only real friend. If you don’t come back, my social life’s going to collapse, you know? So come back.”

Lukas let out a small laugh at my brother’s words. And then, it was my turn. I felt like I was standing in line for farewells—how ridiculous.

I faced him. Lukas stood there smiling.

“Sir. Come back with all your limbs intact. If you don’t, I’ll be forced to smile. And imagine how insane I’d look, smiling while you’re gone.”

“Hahaha. Yes, of course. Dearest friend’s dearest sister—Selina.”

He couldn’t help laughing as he said it.

Once the farewells were over and the scheduled time arrived, a deep horn echoed from the front—the group that would take the lead once the procession began.

Everyone began boarding carriages or mounting their horses.

Father boarded the carriage, while Lukas mounted his horse. With a slight bow, Lukas turned and rode toward the front.

Bwooo—

The horn sounded again, and the carriages began to move.

The horses, once restlessly pawing at the ground, now trotted forward. The long line moved like a single serpent.

The noise vibrated in the air, shook the ground beneath us.

We stood reverently, watching them go.

At last, once Father’s carriage disappeared from view, Mother collapsed to the ground and sobbed.

I sat beside her and gently patted her frail shoulders, just as she had done for me earlier.

My brother, who had stood there gripping his fists in silence, came over and supported her.

Beneath the cloudy sky, the subjugation campaign had truly begun.

—

A sharp blade sliced through the monster’s neck. It collapsed with a heavy thud, letting out a pained groan as it fell.

It had taken the form of a dog, though it was easily the size of three men combined.

Lukas confirmed its death, then stepped closer and stabbed near its heart.

How many times had he stabbed it like that? From the open wound, a small red orb—about the size of a thumbnail—rolled out.

Exactly what he’d been looking for.

“There’s one side effect with these red orb spells. The mana in the orb is linked to the caster. Destroying the orb sends shock back to the caster—mental and even physical.”

Allogen had said that while crushing another orb in his hand.

“Up until now, you’ve been collecting them for study. But from now on, you’d best destroy every single one you find.”

Lukas stepped on the orb that had rolled to his feet. As he applied his full weight, it shattered with a brittle crunch.

“Water, sir.”

A knight behind him handed him a canteen. After a quick sip, Lukas looked around.

We were supposed to arrive at the outer border in two weeks...

The location they’d stopped was about halfway between the military base and the ducal estate.

They’d halted when they spotted a monster nearby.

Eight days since they’d left the estate. This kind of thing had happened more than a few times already.

It was almost as if someone was releasing monsters deliberately, in anticipation of the campaign—placing them along their path like an obstacle course.

Lukas cracked his neck, told the other knights to begin clean-up, and mounted his horse again.

—

“My lady, heading out for a walk again today?”

“Mm-hm. My stomach feels heavy.”

“Alright. I’ll prepare some tea for when you return.”

“Thanks, Jane.”

Ever since Father and Lukas led the army out, I’d developed a new habit. Morning, noon, or night, I’d go for walks in the garden. And then, I’d sit on a bench and stare off into space.

Gazing at the sky, lost in thought.

Ah... Father must be under the same sky. The sun shining over him must be the same one shining on me.

Since I arrived in this world, Father had always been nearby. We didn’t necessarily see each other every day, but at least we were under the same roof.

This was the first time we’d been apart for so long—and so far.

How ridiculous people are.

In my past life, I was always alone. Even when I was technically under a roof, I was just stuck in some cold, empty room, like a storage closet.

And if not that, I was in a hospital’s spare bed, which wasn’t really mine, either.

I was someone who was used to being alone.

And yet, now I’d grown used to having a family. Now distance feels lonely. It makes me worry.

Just the fact that we’re not under the same roof—it hurts.

I lifted a hand and covered my face.

No tears came. Just a stifling tightness in my chest.