I'm a Villainess, Can I Die?-Chapter 104

“Selina?”

Why does he keep calling my name like that?

“Yes, Sir Lukas.”

“Do you even realize where you’re lying right now?”

“I’m lying on the balcony.”

“Ha.”

The sound of a soft sigh came with his voice, and I slowly opened my eyes. Lukas was looking down at me, shaking his head.

What’s with the head shake? People get tired. Sometimes you need to lie on a balcony.

I stared at him for a moment, then slowly pushed myself upright. I’d been sprawled out in such a crumpled position that it wasn’t even comfortable.

If he wants me to sit up that badly, fine. I’ll sit.

As I lifted myself and blankly looked at him, Lukas let out a soft laugh, like air escaping a balloon.

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Then, he plopped down beside me.

“Stop sitting on the floor, Selina. Especially when other people can see you.”

He scolded me quietly. As if he were genuinely concerned... though he couldn’t stop smiling at the end of it.

“How did you know I was here?”

“I caught a glimpse of you earlier. Stumbling your way out to the balcony alone. I got worried and came to check, but... didn’t expect to walk into this scene.”

I gave him a sidelong glance and sighed.

The haziness in my head was starting to clear, and the heat of the alcohol was beginning to fade.

“Sir Lukas.”

At the sound of my voice, Lukas turned to face me, still smiling. I tilted my head back.

Looking up ✧ NоvеIight ✧ (Original source) at the crescent moon—the marker of time—I slowly opened my mouth.

“How are they all smiling like that? And how are you smiling? It’s only two days away now. Just two days until they head off to the front lines... to a war where danger waits for them. Aren’t you afraid...? How can you smile?”

Lukas was quiet for a moment. When I turned to look, his violet eyes were glowing softly.

“...Are you afraid, Selina?”

A question in return. Directed at me. I didn’t hesitate like he had.

“Yes. I’m afraid. I’m afraid they’ll get hurt. That they won’t come back. I’m afraid of all of it.”

Because I’ll probably be the reason it all happens. That’s the scariest part of all.

Ha. So selfish of me.

Lukas fell silent again.

Then, just like I had, he leaned his head back and looked up at the sky.

What was he looking at? The crescent moon? The stars? Or just the dark, empty sky?

“I’m afraid too. I think everyone is. But because we’re not allowed to be afraid, that’s why we smile.”

They smile because they can’t afford to be afraid.

“...Is that why you smile too?”

His lips curled into a soft grin. That gentle curve—just like the crescent moon above.

“Yes. I’ve been smiling for a long time now. So I wouldn’t feel afraid. My father lost an arm in the last campaign. My mother... she passed away while he was away.”

I just stared at him. Even while saying something so heavy, that crescent-moon smile never left his face.

It reminded me of how he was portrayed in the original story.

He only ever showed his true emotions to the heroine. Outside of that, he always wore a calm, easygoing smile.

Most of his smiles were just an act.

Didn’t I say that to him once?

Stop pretending.

If his smiles and his performances were all born from fear... then when did that fear begin?

The day his father lost his arm?

The day his mother died?

I leaned my head back too, looking up at the same night sky.

Dark, empty, and split by a sliver of crescent moon.

“Don’t get hurt, Sir Lukas. I... I don’t think I could smile like you do.”

“If I do get hurt, would you smile for me?”

“...Of course. Even if you get hurt, I’ll smile.”

A moment that didn’t exist in the original novel—where I learned something secret and personal about him.

It was strange, how calming that selfish little moment was.

Knock knock. The quiet was broken by a soft tap on the wall. We turned to look at each other.

It felt kind of ridiculous to be seen like this by someone else.

I’m technically a noblewoman. And the deputy commander, no less.

Lukas stood and straightened his posture. Then he reached out a hand to help me up. But before I could take it—

“My lady.”

A familiar voice. I looked at his hand, then shook my head. I didn’t feel the need to get up.

Lukas chuckled softly and leaned back against the balcony railing, the hand he had extended now casually raised.

“Come in.”

A moment after my words, the curtain covering the balcony was pulled open.

Of course it was Aiden.

Holding a glass of water, he blinked in surprise, clearly not expecting to see Lukas here.

“Curtain.”

Only then did Aiden draw the curtain closed behind him and step inside.

“You’re here too, Sir?”

“Yeah, well. Just ended up here somehow.”

This translation is the intellectual property of Novelight.

Really now? They both came to see me—so why are they talking to each other?

I sat quietly, watching them, then gave a little shrug.

If you’re going to keep talking like that, at least act like you’re friends or something.

“My lady, I brought water. Please drink.”

Aiden glanced at Lukas before sitting down across from me.

Condensation was forming on the glass—it looked like he’d gotten it fresh from somewhere cold.

“What a sweet little thing you are.”

Thank you, Aiden.

I took the glass and drank. But oddly, everything around us had gone quiet.

Even Lukas, who usually had something sarcastic to throw in, and Aiden, who’d handed me the glass—both were completely silent.

Aiden just stared at me blankly before suddenly shooting to his feet. I thought I saw the tips of his ears turn red.

What the...?

I tilted my head in confusion and downed the rest of the water. The cool liquid chased away the last of my thirst.

As I tapped the bottom of the empty glass against my palm, a soft chuckle floated down from above.

Lukas.

He had one hand over his mouth and his shoulders were shaking like someone struggling not to laugh.

I guess everyone’s a little drunk tonight.

Still trying to suppress his laughter, Lukas took a breath and looked at me.

That smirk on his lips looked just like something a villain would wear.

“Selina, remember that promise you made to me last time?”

“Promise?”

“Yeah. You know... that one.”

Lukas grinned as he subtly tilted his chin in Aiden’s direction.

Promise...? Words...? Aiden... Ah. That.

The weird little promise where I agreed to say something nice about Lukas in front of Aiden.

I’d forgotten about it. Not surprising—it was a ridiculous promise. I slowly nodded.

“Yes, I remember. The promise. What about it?”

“If you haven’t done it yet, do it now. Selina.”

Now? Like, now now? I glanced at Aiden, who was looking at us both with a confused expression.

Well... I guess it doesn’t matter when I say it. Might as well do it in front of him.

“Aiden.”

“Yes?”

His eyes widened slightly as I suddenly called his name.

His face was still a little flushed.

Tch. I told you to pace yourself with the drinking.

“I’m really, really worried about Sir Lukas.”

The moment I said it, Aiden’s lips parted. His expression said, Why are you telling me that?

He looked so dumbfounded that I almost laughed. Actually, I think I did smile a little.

At the sight of that, Aiden let out a sigh-like chuckle, then shifted his gaze to the one we were talking about—Lukas.

I followed his gaze. Lukas tilted his head with a relaxed grin.

What?

His expression practically said it aloud.

“You’re a lot more childish than I thought.”

Wow. Is this about to turn into a fight?

More importantly, what’s so childish about me being worried?

My muddled brain tried to process it, but then Lukas—still beside me—reached out and ran his fingers through my hair.

He twirled a strand between his fingers like it was a toy, still smiling, and said,

“It’s fine. The one who gets jealous over childish things is the truly childish one. You wouldn’t have anything to be jealous of.”

What the hell does that mean? Were they making some kind of bet behind my back?

I gave up trying to understand.

My head was already a mess—I wasn’t about to add more nonsense to it.

I just leaned my head back and looked up at the sky again. Time to go back to silently cursing that damn crescent moon.

“I should get going. I am the deputy commander of the subjugation force, after all. Can’t be gone too long. Get some fresh air, then go back to your room early and sleep. Alright, Selina?”

“...Yes. And Sir Lukas, don’t drink too much. You already seem... kind of drunk.”

Lukas laughed again and turned to go.

His steps paused briefly as he passed Aiden, then continued on out of the balcony.

I watched the curtain fall closed, then gestured toward Aiden.

“Aiden. Come sit over here.”

“Should I get you another glass of water?”

“No. It’s fine. Just sit.”

Aiden came over and sat beside me without protest. I looked at his perfect profile, then rested my head on his shoulder.

Maybe I just had too many thoughts in my head, but it felt especially heavy tonight.

Ah. This is nice.

“Aiden.”

“Yes, my lady.”

“...Tell me everything’s going to be okay.”

Aiden didn’t respond. I closed my eyes.

With them closed, it felt like all my other senses heightened. The cold night air on my skin. The heat radiating from Aiden in contrast.

His breathing. The steady beat of his heart.

The distant sounds of the banquet hall. The rustling of leaves in the wind.

“If you say everything’s okay, it really feels like it is. So please... tell me it is.”

Aiden’s shoulder gave a faint, uncertain twitch. Like he’d thought about moving and then stopped himself.

I opened my eyes. In his green eyes, I saw myself reflected.

I saw his awkwardly raised hand, frozen midair.

Then I closed my eyes again.

Aiden’s hand gently touched my head. Slowly, cautiously, he began to stroke my hair.

Clumsy, so clumsy—but tender in its awkwardness.

“It’s okay, my lady. Everything... everything’s going to be okay.”

—

Drip. Drip.

The rain had finally let up.

All night, it had poured down like the sky had a hole in it, but now, as dawn broke, only a few drops remained.

Thank goodness. Rain on deployment day would’ve made everything miserable. Delays, accidents...

Safety first. Always safety first.

Well, the ground’s probably still a soggy mess.

I brought my hands together and closed my eyes.

Please, let us make it to the outer borders without incident.

Ah... was that a mistake? If God exists, there’s no way they’re on my side.

Knock knock.

Someone tapped gently at the door. I unclasped my hands and answered quietly.

“Come in.”

The door creaked open, and Jane peeked in. Usually so cheerful, but today her face was shadowed with worry.

That worry was directed at me. What a sweet girl.

“My lady, it’s time to head out now.”

I nodded and rose to my feet.

Dressed in a bright yellow dress—completely unsuited for a military departure—I walked out.