There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)-Chapter 684: Side Story 3. Stellar Blossom - 19

Red.

Red was his world. His color. The color of his whole world.

He could live with nothing but red; the red belonged to his beloved darling. He could live seeing nothing else in the world as long as he could still see his darling. The red that changed his entire life. His entire world.

He could live within the chilling cold gnawing at his bone. He could live with screaming muscles and numbed nerves. He could live with searing pain all over his skin.

But this? Losing his red?

He couldn’t live with this.

For the first time in his life, as red was robbed from him, he crumbled. He couldn’t keep himself together enough before tears fell from his shaking eyes. Eyes that were no longer useful to him.

His fingers twitched, and his hand raised to his face before he realized it, as if wanting to gauge the useless eyes out.

"Joon!"

The shout snapped him out of it, but the force behind his movement still lingered. Instead of his face, Han Joon swung his hand to the side, shattering the reinforced window. His eyes, unblinking, glared at the black marble floor as Radia rushed toward him.

By the time Radia arrived in front of him, Han Joon had already slid to the floor, blood dripping from his hands and the window. Radia held the trembling, bloody hand with shattered glass all over it, summoning a green-cloaked figure.

"Heal him!"

The figure flinched at the agitated order and glanced at the wound, frowning. What the hell--the summoner made it seem like it was a life-threatening incident, but...

"It’s just a scratch, damn," the figure grumbled--but a vibrating dagger in the black-suited butler made him shudder. "Ugh--I know, I know."

With a simple hand wave, the shards moved back to the window, the blood flew back inside the wound, and the incisions closed up. As if everything was a lie, the injury and the damage vanished.

If only...if only he could turn back time further. Not just a few minutes. But not even Bassena Vaski had enough mana to sustain fifteen years...no, thirty-five years of time manipulation.

He held the hand, which was still trembling despite the healing. Wouldn’t it be good if time turning could also heal the invisible wound in one’s heart and mind?

"J-Joon..." Radia grabbed the trembling hand tightly when he failed to catch any answer. The lowered head was unmoving, and Radia felt his heart lurching to his stomach. "Joon!"

"Haa...haa..."

Radia bit his lips and careened his head to look at the bowed face, watching the unblinking, shaking eyes with a broken heart. "Joon...darling?"

He stroked the trembling cheek, but there was still no answer. All he could hear was the heavy breath of a man whose nightmare had turned into reality.

When he saw Joon look at him with widened, shocked eyes the moment he woke up, before immediately scrambling to the window, staring unblinkingly at the autumn foliage...Radia knew he lost another color. The one most important to him.

Radia’s color.

And how could his heart not break, seeing his ever-strong husband crumble that way? Radia held the newly healed hand and, after taking another one, pulled both toward his face. He felt the cool fingers twitch and waited until Joon raised his face.

"Can you not see me?"

The black eyes shook once more. "I...can...but--"

"Am I no longer your darling without my color?" Radia held back the boiling lump in his throat, shoving it down to his stomach. He couldn’t fall. When his pillar was crumbling, he had to be the one who stayed strong. "Am I not lovely anymore?"

"Don’t talk nonsense!" Han Joon snapped, grasping his darling’s face tight.

Radia smiled, despite the needles stabbing his heart. Gently, he held the anxious face in front of him and planted soft, soothing kisses. It was the first time he felt Han Joon trembling this much, and his heart shattered with every choked breath that the man restrained from making.

When his lips pressed softly on the closed eyelid, a pair of slightly cool arms held his back, pulling him into a tight embrace. Gradually, the trembling lessened and ceased with a deep breath as Radia stroked the black hair.

"It’s okay," he whispered gently, leaning against the older’s. "We’ll get you new glasses, yeah? It will be okay with that, right?"

Radia raised his head and pulled back so he could see his husband’s face. It was the messiest he had ever seen Han Joon, and while it saddened him, the purity of it brought a smile to his lips.

"Just a few more months," he stroked the wet cheeks, stroking the trace of tears with his thumbs. "I found a tip about a soul flame artifact in the Western Republic--Jock is already there to look for it. And Shin...he’ll come out in the winter, so..." he smiled and kissed the pale lips softly. "Just bear with it for a few months, yeah?"

The kiss warmed Joon’s lips gradually, enough for him to speak more calmly.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Okay," he laid his head on his darling’s chest. "I’m sorry, darling."

"No, no--don’t apologize!" Radia cradled his husband and stroked the black hair, whispering desperately. "Don’t..."

He knew how hard it was. If it was hard for him, how much harder would it be for Joon? But he had been taking it gracefully all this time, so what with a little show of loose emotions?

"We’ll be fine," Radia lifted his husband’s face. "Right--"

He smiled--a sweet smile that put Han Joon in a daze.

"Why don’t you come with me from now on?"

"...Huh?" Han Joon blinked dazedly.

Radia tilted his head, smiling with a twinkle in his eyes. Thankfully, Han Joon could still see the sparkle in the sea of gray. "You said you want to follow me everywhere. Do you not want it anymore?"

"I want it."

The answer came swiftly, like a demand years in pending. Radia chuckled and let his lips be sealed by a kiss. Feeling the stretched lips, very much in contrast with how Joon had a few minutes ago, Radia let out a relieved breath into the kiss, smiling on his own.

Yeah, we’ll be fine. We have to be.

* * *

"What do you want to have for lunch, darling?" Radia asked from his desk, glancing at the man lounging on the couch watching television.

He didn’t even know why he was so against it before. Taking Joon anywhere was really...nice. He could look at that handsome face anytime he felt tired, they could have meals together, and more importantly, he could monitor Joon’s condition more easily.

Joon, who was in the middle of watching a cooking show, pointed at the screen with his chin. "Hmm...that one seems fun."

"Fun?" Radia narrowed his eyes at the boiling something drenched in a red sauce that looked like it came straight from a volcano.

Perhaps it was, since the people eating it seemed to be crying. Was that a food or torture device?

"Shouldn’t we eat something tasty rather than fun?"

"It can be both," Han Joon shrugged.

Radia chuckled. What could he do? His husband loved spicy food--the man said it was in his genes. He shifted his gaze to one of his human secretaries. "Min, how fast can we get that delivered?"

"I’ll make sure to have it here before an hour pass, Sir."

Radia nodded and Han Joon raised his thumb at the secretary. "Good luck."

Joon had no idea how Min laughed softly and bowed before leaving the office. Radia chuckled and left his desk, plopping on his husband’s welcoming lap.

"Is that like a cooking documentary or something?" the red hair swayed as his head tilted.

"Yeah," Han Joon brushed the red hair, fixing it the way he styled his darling this morning. "They go around looking for a place serving recipes from the Old Age."

Radia arched his brow while fiddling with Joon’s glasses. Honestly, he really liked this look on his husband, but he was afraid the man would sulk if he said it out loud. "Is it something like Ambrosia?"

"No, not that kind of fancy place," Han Joon twisted his lips to muse. "More like family businesses--something inherited from generation to generation, not from research."

"Oh, sounds interesting?" Radia perked up. As a member of an Old House, he liked this kind of thing. "Shall we eat in one of those this weekend?"

Swiftly, Han Joon pulled up his commlink. "Better make a reservation from now," he tapped on the floating keyboard fast, thanks to being chronically onlink these days. "Lunchtime? Dinner time?"

"Your pick," Radia laughed and jumped off his husband’s lap so he wouldn’t disturb the reservation process. He had to rearrange his schedule for the weekend anyway, so he better get back to his desk.

"Lunch? Braised food is always good for lunch," Han Joon muttered, scrolling through the page. "Can we have a drive, too? It’s around two hours from the airport?"

"Airport? Geez--where is this place?" Radia chuckled in amusement. "Well, I guess we can have someone prepare a car from the branch. What time should we go?"

Radia reached his desk, but he did not hear any answer--nor any clicking sound. "Darling?" he turned around, seeing the screen blinking and hovered in front of a still Han Joon.

Radia felt his heart drop, but his body responded instantly, rushing toward the couch again, grasping his husband’s face. "Joon!"

The closed eyes jolted open. "Huh?" Han Joon flinched slightly at his darling’s anxious face. "Did I fall asleep again?"

How could someone fall asleep in the middle of filling out a reservation form?

Radia stared at the blinking face; there was nothing in those clear eyes but pure confusion. It was clear that Han Joon didn’t even realize that he had lost consciousness.

Swallowing his fear and frustration, Radia pulled the man out of the couch. "Let’s go."

"What? Where? The delivery--"

"Who cares about delivery?!"

Han Joon stopped and gripped Radia’s hand strongly, prompting the summoner to halt and take a deep breath. Biting his lips, he turned and forced a smile. "I’m sorry," he looked at Han Joon desperately. "Let’s just go to the hospital for a quick check-up, okay? Nyx!"

He turned and pulled Han Joon toward the rippling air in the corner of the room that was intentionally emptied for a portal. Narrowing his eyes, Han Joon muttered behind his darling. "I’m going tomorrow anyway..."

"Yeah, that’s why," Radia suppressed the impatience in his voice. "Just a day earlier wouldn’t matter, right?"

"Sure, if you say--"

Radia gasped as he was pulled down by gravity. The hand he was holding fell to the ground, along with the man attached to it.