The Demon Lord's Bride (BL)-Chapter 632: Speak with your mouth before speaking with your fist

I wasn’t a stranger to golems. Hell--the whole Lair was managed by golems. There were around thirty seven golems, not including the ones in maintenance, who managed the whole Lair in two shift rotations per day.

Angwi spent her time in the Castle as Shwa’s nanny now, but she would return to the Lair once in a while to check on the golems. Each kind of golems needed their own maintenance, which were differed based on its size and shape. And there were a lot of varieties.

There were humanoid golems that looked no different from living beings--kind of like the androids from that game back on Earth. There were those who looked like living armor, patrolling the Lair’s lower level and helping the twin guards. There were those who shaped like animals and helping Doun in maintaining the forest and the garden. The most varied ones would be those who maintained the tower; from the tall ones who could reach the ceiling for cleaning, or ones with several limbs for efficiency in multi-tasking.

Honestly, the Lair was a den of wonder, and I could understand why Neel didn’t want to leave it.

The golem in front of me, however, was something new that I hadn’t seen before. You know those children’s show about big robots fighting? Yeah, kind of like that. It was made of stones, it seemed, but the stones were polished into a smooth surface, with sharp boxed angles. A thick metal case was protecting a glowing orb in the middle of the golem’s chest--which, I presumed, was the core.

Looking at it standing right at the center of this huge chamber, with its glowing red eyes and threatening posture, this tall creature among tall creatures screamed BOSS in bold letters it might as well carved somewhere in one of its stone plates.

Uhh...did we have to fight the boss too?

"Shiny?" I spoke from the corner of my mouth; carefully so I wouldn’t accidentally pulling the golem’s aggro or something.

Chii?

"Why didn’t you mention any of this?"

Chii chii?

’What do you mean’? You asked me what do you mean?!

I wanted to glare at the mole, but I also didn’t want to look away from the golem--in case it would suddenly attack. So far, it only stared at us with those glowing red eyes. And red eyes usually meant danger, so I wasn’t about to take chances.

Perhaps it had to recite some speech or backstory first? You know--the kind that people skip to get to the real fight.

Anyway...

"Why did you never tell me there will be a giant robot--I mean, golem--we have to face?"

Chii? Do I have to?

What the fuck is this mole saying?

Big Stone no hurt Shiny.

Huh...

Well, I mean--you were a mole? Of course it wouldn’t see you as a threat...

Oh. Oh, right. I was the dumb one to think this mole would understand how the golem would react to a human. After all, no human had come through this place before.

Fine. You received a pass, mole.

But, what now?

"Then...can you, like, tell this one to not hurt us too?"

Shiny no speak stone

This punk.

At that moment, Heraz whispered behind me. "Young Master, should we at--"

"Sush!" I hissed and clasped his mouth shut. "What if you accidentally said a trigger word?"

"...trigger word?"

"Just sush!"

I hissed, not realizing that I was making the biggest sound. It was too late anyway, since the golem had moved its head to look at as, and it felt like a red spotlight was pointing at us.

Naturally, we were tensing by the movement, but before we could whip out a weapon or rouse mana, the golem let out a sound first.

"Visitor."

"Fu--"

It was a thunderous voice that sounded like a neighboring uncle ready to scold children who played past the allowed time, and I was flinching from the memory. But only the voice sounded the same--the tone was different. Actually...this one felt a bit...friendlier?

"Ahem," I cleared my throat--both from embarrassment and to calm myself. Carefully, while holding both Shiny and Jade, I asked after swallowing through my drying throat. "...Good day?"

"Good day."

Oh?

Oh!

"H-hello, Mister Golem," I tried to go with the diplomatic route since it didn’t seem threatening. So far, it only stood still and merely moved its head to look at us. Still, it might be some kind of tactic--or a pre-fight segment in a cutscene, who knows--so I decided to act politely. "Or...do you have a name we can use?"

"I have a serial number," the golem replied with a dry amiability, like an AI. Well, golems were basically a magical AI, weren’t they? It pointed at its shoulder, which I couldn’t see because the obvious. "You can call me whatever you see fit, visitor."

Oh, so generous?

Big Stone!

"No, Shiny," I shook my head. What if we met a smaller golem? Should we called them small stone and medium stone next? I tilted my head in contemplation despite the dissappointed sound coming out of the mole. "Umm...you seems like a chill dude. Can I call you Stan?"

He really reminded me of that uncle living in our neighborhood, warning kids about playing at night. The stern voice but gentle tone...I just couldn’t help it. Besides, it was made of stone.

"I don’t know what a ’chill dude’ is, but very well," the golem nodded easily. Wow, this dude probably wouldn’t mind being called Big Stone, huh?

You owe me one, big stone dude.

Anyway, since it was friendly enough to accept a name, I felt like it was safe to proceed. Clearing my throat again, I moved to the real business. "Then, Stan...are you guarding the path to the Goddess’s relic?"

"That is my duty."

"Will you let us pass?"

I bit my lips, and I could feel the other two behind me holding their breath. I mean...between the three od us plus Jade--and maybe Shiny--we could probably beat the golem. But wouldn’t it be disappointing to fight after choosing a diplomatic route?

So I waited for the answer nervously, and the answe waaaas....

"Yes."

My eyes widened. Even while hoping for it, the result was still surprising. "Yes? Really?"

For the first time, the golem moved its hand. Naturally, Heraz moved to shield me. "Young Mas--"

But the golem was faster. Its finger had already stopped in front of my chest, pointing. "The Goddess’s mark," the golem said. "You have it."

We were all exclaimed at the same time. "Oh!"

"And based on my calculation, I wouldn’t be able to win against you," the golem continued.

"Huh? Really?"

But wasn’t this golem the boss? The guardian? Shouldn’t it be strong? I mean, it looked strong. I was confident about ganging up on a boss, but soloing on one was...hmm...

"I am supposed to test the visitor’s strength, but there is no need to test yours."

"Huh..."

[Yes, Papa is strong!]

The little bird suddenly gave me an affirmation, which was both embarrassing and pleasant.

"Ahem--thank you, Jade."

As if making an agreement with the little bird, Heraz also made a remark. "Indeed, Young Master is strong."

"I think Sir Valen is strong too!" Renna nodded.

"Oh, stop it! I barely did anything!" I hissed, getting more embarrassed than pleased.

Jade was giggling and chirping, erasing any tension that might still linger in the air. The golem courteously waited until we stopped making a sound before shifting sideways. The way the room trembled from that simple movement started to make me doubt whether I could truly beat this golem alone.

"You can go through this door," the golem crouched and pressed its finger in a crook on the floor. A section opened up to a staircase leading below. "This is the key."

Something fell to the golem’s palm, looking like a medallion.

"Stan!" I stroked the cool stone hand before taking the medallion. "Thank you!"

"It is my duty to protect the relic until the person with the Goddess’s mark comes."

I flinched slightly at that revelation. "You mean you’ll let all priests come?"

Ugh--what if the priests from the church came first, then? Would they get the bead without having to face the boss too?

"No. Not priest," the golem shook its head slightly. The hexagonal head that reminded me of a robot franchise lowered more until it hovered a meter above me. "The person with the Goddess’s mark."

"I think you have a different kind of mark, Young Master," Heraz said.

Oh...

"Like Jin?" Renna snapped her fingers.

"I see..."

Now that was more like it. Since it was a defensive system made by the Goddess--or someone ordered by Her--it wouldn’t make sense if those traitors were given access to the relic.

Ah...perhaps that was why the church intensely looked through the auctions. They probably realized that the probability of them ever finding the relic themselves in ruin was very small. Even a random adventurer had better luck than them. Still, they probably kept sending mercenaries to explore the ruin just for that small probability.

Well...they had a big resource anyway.

Hopefully, not bigger than my husband’s. Oh, how I missed him. It was a rare moment when I missed him more than I missed my beautiful baby flower. Ahh...should I return after we are done with this bead?

Oh, right--the bead.

"Anyway, thank you, Stan!" I patted the stone hand gratefully. "Will you be waiting here after we take it?"

"Yes," the golem nodded once. "I need to give you something after."

"In that case, I’ll see you!"

[See you, Big Stone Stan!]

"Yes."

The golem’s deep, rumbling voice accompanied us as we climbed down the stairs. Onto the awaiting relic, we go!

[We go!]