Merchant Crab-Chapter 218: Defeated
“Well, that’s certainly a first,” the crab said, scratching the top of his shell with the tip of his pincer.
“Y-you’ve never seen this happen before?” said the panicked adventurer as his wide eyes darted between his own feet and Balthazar.
“Nope!” the merchant replied.
The young man’s chin quivered and his breathing hitched, a bead of sweat rolling down his temple as he blinked rapidly.
“So you can’t do anything about it?!”
Balthazar cocked an eyestalk at him.
“Do what? You didn’t buy anything from me, so it sure as hell isn’t my fault your feet are gone, boy!”
The adventurer stumbled back, leaning on the counter, likely from the shock, as he seemed perfectly capable of standing up despite both of his feet being missing.
Where his leather pants ended near the ankle area, and where a pair of winged boots the merchant had seen him wearing before should be, the human had now nothing but empty space.
“It’s like you took an invisibility potion,” Balthazar said. “For just your feet. What happened?”
“I don’t know! I didn’t even make it inside the dungeon! One moment I’m walking down the tunnel to enter, the next my boots just vanished—along with my feet!” ƒгeeweɓn૦vel.com
The merchant nodded idly. “Huh… That’s not supposed to happen, is it?”
“Oh man, oh man!” the adventurer said, starting to pace back and forth. “I’m freaking out!”
The crab rubbed his chin, looking intrigued. “Fascinating. I can even hear your footsteps. It’s like your meaty hooves are there, but we just can’t see them. Have you tried touching them yet?”
The young man stopped and looked at Balthazar. “No, I was too scared to. You think I should?”
“Well, obviously!”
Gulping loudly, the adventurer sat on a stool by the counter and reached down slowly with one hand.
As his fingers were almost at the empty space below the end of his pants, he stopped.
“Argh! I can’t do it!” he exclaimed. “You do it. Check if they’re still there.”
“What?!” said Balthazar. “I’m not gonna touch your feet!”
“Please!” pleaded the young man. “I’m too freaked out about what I might find.”
The crab held out a claw and frowned.
“Last time I touched a human there was to snap his ankle. Is that what you want? Just touch it already!”
With another nervous gulp, the adventurer shut his eyes and gripped the area below his right ankle.
“Oh,” he said, opening his eyes and looking surprised. “It… It certainly feels like my naked feet. A little sweaty, but these are definitely my toes, calluses and everything.”
Balthazar crossed his arms. “Hmm, so you don’t have those boots on anymore? That rules out a weird enchantment then.”
The crab twisted an eyestalk down to look below the ankle area of the leather pants.
“There’s no ankle, leg, or any kind of lump under here either. It’s just… transparent.”
“But I still seem to have my legs,” the human said, poking his finger into a rip in his pants below the knee, which showed a portion of a hairy leg. “Maybe I should take these off and see where it ends.”
Seeing the adventurer begin to unbuckle his belt, Balthazar threw his pincers up.
“Woah, woah, woah! Not in my bazaar! What are my clients going to think if they walk in here and see some pantless guy rubbing his invisible paddle paws? No, no, this is a family friendly establishment! If it isn’t my fault, then it's not my problem either.”
“But I need to figure out what happened to my feet!” the young man said, his shoulders sagging. “I want them back!”
The crab rolled his eyestalks. “How about you start with the obvious? Where did you get those winged boots? Did you loot them from some expired dungeon chest or something?”
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“Uh… No, I didn’t loot them,” the adventurer said, averting his gaze, his tone turning sheepish.
“Alright… Then where did you get them?”
“I… I bought them.”
Balthazar squinted at the young man. He could tell the footless traveler was hiding something, and the boy could feel the crab was on to him too, as he did all he could to avoid eye contact.
“Are you sure about that?” the merchant said.
“Yes!” the adventurer said, suddenly locking eyes with the crab. “I swear I bought and paid for them.”
“Boy, I’m a merchant,” said Balthazar. “I know damn well boots like the ones you had on are rare and expensive. Even adventurers twice as experienced as you have trouble getting winged boots of that quality.”
The young man shrugged, deflated. “I know! That’s why when I saw such a good deal I didn’t hesitate to grab it.”
Balthazar’s scowl deepened. Someone offering good deals on dodgy junk items to adventurers was a problem. He couldn’t have that. Not because of any dangers to the adventurers, of course, but because it would undercut the crab’s whole business.
“And who did you buy those boots from?” asked the skeptical crustacean.
“I don’t know his name,” the young man replied.
The merchant crossed his arms, making no effort to hide his disbelief.
“Look, son, I’m trying to help you figure this out,” Balthazar said in a calm but firm tone. “Even though I have no obligation to since it’s not my responsibility. Do you truly think you’re helping yourself by withholding information from me? If you really want to ever see your bunions again, I’d recommend you just start being honest about whom you got those boots from.”
The adventurer hesitated, his forehead creasing as his eyebrows arched, betraying the conflict within him. After a moment, a system notification appeared in Balthazar’s vision.
[The Gift of the Crab: Success]
“I wasn’t lying,” the young man finally said. “I never learned his name. I got a tip about a secret merchant a couple of days ago while traveling here from up north. Some big bald guy in a tavern told me he knew where I could get some great gear for cheap after some rounds of ale. But it was all very hush-hush and the implication was that I’d probably get in trouble if I started running my mouth about it. The bald guy kept calling him ‘The Duke.’”
With his interest now piqued, the crab leaned in closer and inquired further. “Really? And what can you tell me about this duke?”
The human shrugged.
“Not much. I went to see him where the big guy said I’d find him, on a crossroads. It was night and I couldn’t get a very good look at him, but he was there, as if he knew to expect me. He looked just like any other merchant, but he came across as a little… off in the head. Then he showed me some of his wares and my jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe how many pieces of rare weapons, armor, and other valuable gear he had. Not just one of each either, but multiples of things most shops would hang up on a wall as a prized and unique treasure. The boots I had? He had like half a dozen pairs of them in a box!”
Balthazar crossed his arms, thinking. Who the hell could this merchant be, carrying so many rare items around like that?
His suspicions about a sketchy trader doing business on the road quickly landed on Charles LaTan, but a quick moment of reflection soon told the crab it couldn’t really be him.
That guy couldn’t sell cupcakes at a birthday party if his life depended on it. He also barely had two crowns to rub together when he came begging me for bottles of pond water to sell, so he’s definitely not dealing in rare gear like that. Besides, Charles was just here, and he came and went south, not north.
“The weirdest part,” the adventurer added, “was that he almost didn’t seem to care about the payment. I thought I’d have to haggle my butt off to score those boots, but he agreed to sell them to me for stupidly cheap almost right away once I said I was coming this way to visit the new dungeon that had popped up next to your pond.”
Bringing his pincers together in quiet contemplation, Balthazar pondered deeply on the young man’s story.
Someone out there was selling rare gear to adventurers for cheap. Were they trying to undercut him? What kind of trader would not care about profit? Not one the crab would want to associate with, that was certain.
A merchant who practically gives away expensive gear can’t be right in the head! Balthazar thought.
“Hey,” the adventurer said after a solid minute of awkward silence. “So… you think you can do anything to help me get my feetsies back or what?”
“Huh?” said the merchant, breaking away from his thoughtful trance. “What? Of course not! They don’t exactly make ‘Cure Invisible Feet’ potions or tomes. Your best bet is probably to go up to Ardville and look for a cleric or a temple, see if they can pray your grippers back or something.”
“What? That’s it?!” exclaimed the exasperated adventurer. “I thought you were going to help me if I told you the truth?! How am I supposed to go into town like this?”
Balthazar rolled his eyestalks and reached into a nearby crate. After some quick rummaging, he retrieved an old pair of ugly wooden moccasins and offered them to the young man.
“Here, I’ll provide you with these so you can hide your lack of sock stuffers until you figure this out.”
The adventurer looked at the shoes with a half grimace before taking them and awkwardly finding the right way to put them on his invisible feet. They were just as horrid worn as they were on the counter, maybe even uglier with the small transparent gap between them and the hem of his leather pants, where the missing ankles should be.
He walked around a few paces, producing an absurdly loud clacking noise with each step.
“I look ridiculous,” the human said, dropping his head.
“Come on, don’t look so defeated!” said the crab, smirking. “It’s better than going back up barefoot.”
“Thanks, but I don’t—” the adventurer’s gaze went up to the merchant, and he squinted with a furrowed brow. “Wait… Defeated? Was that meant to be a pun or—”
“That will be ten gold for the moccasins, by the way,” Balthazar interrupted, his cheeky grin widening.
