ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 162: GPS, Panic, and Obsession ( )

"Haaaa... whatever..."

Hazuki stood up, brushing soot off his pants, still upset about his melted loot.

"What now, Ridan?"

Ridan floated lazily beside him, arms crossed.

"Hmm? Oh yeah... let’s head back to town."

He spun in midair and pointed forward like a tour guide on a flying walk.

"You go find the best place to eat, rest up, and then we head out again."

Hazuki blinked.

"Huh? Go where? For what?"

Ridan groaned.

"Ugh! Don’t ask so many questions."

He floated right in front of Hazuki’s face, looking completely unamused.

"You want GPS? I am the GPS. So shut up... and follow."

Hazuki raised an eyebrow.

"...Do you come with voice options? Because I’d like to downgrade to something less rude."

"Sure. Here’s a new voice: SHUT. UP. AND. WALK."

Ridan spun dramatically, floating ahead.

Hazuki sighed.

"Fine, fine. Bossy spirit cloud... thinks he’s Waze with an attitude."

"From here, go straight."

Ridan smirked, hovering ahead, mimicking a calm GPS voice.

Hazuki narrowed his eyes.

"Why do you sound like an emotionless tour guide?"

"After this, turn left."

Ridan kept going, his voice robotic.

Hazuki looked ahead—the gorge was clear.

"Oi! That’s a gorge!!"

"From here... turn left."

Ridan repeated, unfazed.

Hazuki dug his heels into the dirt.

"NO WAY!! THAT’S INSTANT DEATH!!"

Ridan twirled in midair.

"Recalculating route..."

He made a fake beep beep sound.

"Please avoid cliffs unless flying. Estimated arrival: broken legs and tears."

Hazuki groaned.

"One day I’ll throw you into a lake."

"Only if you can catch me, Cookzuki."

Hazuki raised his sword.

"I swear, I will invent anti-cloud magic..."

"GYAHAHAHAHA!!"

Ridan zipped through the air, weaving left and right like a smug mosquito as Hazuki swung his sword wildly.

"Hold still, you flying cotton ball!!"

"Nope! Not today, Slugzuki!"

Ridan ducked under the blade, spun midair, and flew in a loop.

Their chaotic chase looked like two kids playing with sticks—one of them invisible.

Hazuki was mid-swing when he suddenly froze.

His eyes fixated ahead, face changing from frustration to alarm.

Ridan, noticing him stop, floated casually back and settled right on Hazuki’s hair like a nest.

"Whew~ this spot’s actually kinda cozy."

He stretched out like a cat.

"So, what’s got you starin’ like you saw your grades, huh?"

Hazuki didn’t answer.

He just kept staring straight ahead.

"Ridan..."

Hazuki’s voice dropped.

"Huh?"

Ridan blinked from his cozy perch on Hazuki’s hair.

"What is that?"

"Where?"

Ridan floated up a little, squinting.

Hazuki pointed forward—just ahead, near the treeline.

A figure was sitting on a stone.

Alone.

Still.

Watching.

"That one. Sitting on the stone."

Ridan’s whole body stiffened in midair.

"...Ah."

"Who is that?"

"We’re taking a detour. Now."

Hazuki blinked.

"Why?"

Ridan turned to him with rare seriousness in his eyes.

"Just take the damn detour. Now. Don’t look. Don’t talk. Don’t be a hero."

Hazuki nodded automatically, his playful smile gone.

"...Right."

They quietly turned—slipping into the trees—

Trying to avoid the strange figure.

But then, a faint voice drifted through the branches.

Soft at first.

Unsettlingly sweet.

Too sweet.

"My love..."

Hazuki froze.

"...Did you hear that?"

The voice grew louder.

"Myyyy looooveeee..."

Hazuki’s back stiffened.

He turned pale.

"MYYY LOOOVEEEEEEEE—!!!"

Ridan’s eyes widened.

He hovered beside Hazuki and whispered urgently:

"...Better run. Now."

"W-Why?"

Ridan looked dead serious.

"Because that bit—" freeweɓnovel.cøm

He hesitated, then caught himself.

"That witch is gonna chase you down and eat you alive."

Hazuki blinked.

"...Did you almost say—"

"RUN, IDIOT!"

"AAAAAAHHH!!"

Hazuki bolted, arms flailing, sword bouncing.

Ridan zipped after him like a cursed balloon.

Behind them, the voice echoed once more.

Hazuki sprinted through the forest as if his soul was on fire, flailing and gasping.

"WHO IS THAT!!??"

Ridan zipped beside him, faster than usual, clearly panicking too.

"JUST RUN, IDIOT!!"

He shouted, eyes darting back.

"Didn’t you hear any scary stories in town?! About a CRAZY bit—witch!"

"You almost said bitch!!"

"FOCUS ON SURVIVING!!"

The trees behind them shook.

That voice followed again, louder and closer.

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME FOR ANOTHER WOMAN—!!!"

Hazuki tripped over a root and fell.

"Why the hell is she said that!!? I didn’t do anything!!"

Ridan didn’t answer right away.

He floated slightly ahead, sweating fog.

His eyes looked down at Hazuki’s sword—the one holding his spiritual form.

And in that moment, Ridan made the most cowardly decision a ghost ever made.

"SHE’S OBSESSED WITH YOU, HAZUKI!! RUN FASTER!!"

"W-WHAT!?! WHY ME!? I DON’T EVEN KNOW HER!!"

"Love works in mysterious, terrifying ways! JUST. RUN."

Hazuki panted, running and practically crying.

"Ridan!! Ridan, she’s RIGHT BEHIND—"

Too late.

A cold hand grabbed his hair.

"GAHHHH!!!"

Hazuki screamed as strands of his hair ripped free.

He jerked forward—tripped, rolled through the dirt—and scrambled back to his feet. He missed a small clump of hair but was alive.

"SHE TOUCHED ME!! SHE TOUCHED ME, RIDAN!!"

"AND YET YOU STILL HAVE ALL YOUR ORGANS! CONGRATS!!"

Ridan shouted from above, already hiding behind a tree like a cowardly squirrel.

Hazuki kept running.

Behind him—the girl didn’t chase.

She stood still in the clearing, fingers gently holding a few strands of Hazuki’s hair.

Her eyes softened.

A memory flickered in her mind—

—a necklace.

Given in kindness.

Familiar warmth.

That smile.

Her gaze drifted down, and a faint glow pulsed from her chest—the same energy the necklace Ellyn now wore.

She smiled.

A soft, eerie smile full of bittersweet recognition.

Then—she vanished.

Like fog dissolving in moonlight.

"Lalalala~"

Ellyn hummed cheerfully, curled up like a spoiled cat in her room—sunlight streaming in from the high windows of the royal estate.

"Princess?"

Faria peeked in.

"Hmm?"

"Are you hungry? It’s almost lunch."

Ellyn stretched lazily like a housecat who owns the universe.

"Yes, Faria... Could you please bring my food here?"

She poutingly requested.

"I’m too lazy to go to the dining room today."

"Very well."

Faria turned to leave, then paused.

"...Are you... sniffing something?"

Ellyn blinked innocently.

Then, like she didn’t hear the question, she buried her face deeper into the shirt she secretly swiped from Hazuki days ago—holding it delicately like a sacred relic.

"Mmm... Hazuki..."

Faria stared.

"...Princess."

"Huh?"

Ellyn looked up, calm as the sea.

"Is that... his shirt?"

Ellyn smiled.

"Don’t know. It just appeared in my laundry basket. Fate works in strange ways."

"Princess....."

Faria sighed and left the room.

( End Of Chapter )