Hobbyist VTuber-Chapter 224

The scene where Baeksulhwa, who had endured every hardship in life, finally broke down—

S#21 – Street.

The key to this scene was expressing how Baeksulhwa’s /N_o_v_e_l_i_g_h_t/ battered heart had finally reached its limit.

"Honestly... it’s a miracle I held on this long."

There were many reasons for Baeksulhwa’s emotional collapse.

But if one had to pinpoint the most decisive factor—

it was the warning signs of her deteriorating health.

For the first time, she realized her body was falling apart.

In other words, she was forced to confront the fact that death was approaching.

The result of struggling against poverty from such a young age...

was an early death.

It was a revelation too cruel for Baeksulhwa to bear.

Until now, what had kept her going was the fragile hope that, one day, things would get better.

While her classmates went to cram school or karaoke,

Baeksulhwa had to work—

at cafés, barbecue restaurants, and countless other places.

But even then, she had held on to that one last hope:

If I just keep pushing through, someday, things will improve.

But after being rushed to the emergency room...

after being told her health had taken a turn for the worse...

Even that last, desperate hope crumbled.

And so, in order to portray Baeksulhwa,

Ha-eun had to express an even deeper sense of despair.

"...It’s tough. Even now."

Was it possible?

Yes.

In fact, this was perhaps the easiest kind of acting for her.

Because Ha-eun already knew what it felt like—

to be told that her health had reached a critical state.

But maybe it was because she had lived through it once before—

that her immersion in this scene was deeper than ever.

During S#21, Ha-eun felt her chest tighten, as if she were suffocating.

"T-There's a high probability that it’s ■■■■.

It would be best to start preparing yourself—"

Even now, after all these years—

Ha-eun could recall that day with perfect clarity.

The doctor’s white coat.

The monitor on the desk.

The plush leather chair.

All of it, as vividly as if it had happened just yesterday.

And so, every emotion she channeled into S#21 was raw and unfiltered.

When Baeksulhwa realized, beyond any doubt, that death was creeping toward her—

the dizziness, the hazy vision, the overwhelming terror—

all of it was captured on camera exactly as Ha-eun felt it.

Perhaps that was why.

"Like before... I can never tell whether you’re acting or actually crying, Ha-eun."

"...Mm."

Even as Kang Sun-woo delivered his lines, meant to comfort Baeksulhwa,

Ha-eun’s sobs contained a sliver of reality.

Because this scene—was her.

Throughout S#21,

Ha-eun had projected her past self onto Baeksulhwa.

Onto the girl who had lived each day, slowly dying, without anyone to care.

And perhaps... that was why the sobs she let out in Kang Sun-woo’s arms sounded so much more wretched.

Maybe deep down, the Ha-eun from back then had also been waiting for someone to comfort her.

"Oh, no... your clothes are completely soaked..."

"It’s just a costume. It’s fine."

Only now did Ha-eun realize—

how large and unbearable the weight in her heart had grown.

Her chest ached, her sobs refused to stop,

and in the end, she completely drenched Kang Sun-woo’s shirt with her tears.

That was also why, even after the scene was over,

Ha-eun couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye.

The source of this c𝓸ntent is freewebnøvel.coɱ.

Even if it had been acting,

she felt as though she had cried too much.

"...I still have a long way to go."

If she truly wanted to achieve her goal,

she had to learn to control emotions like this.

She couldn’t keep leaning on the memories of her past pain and calling it acting.

Until her grief and tears became nothing more than performance,

she still had work to do.

Because even if others couldn’t tell the difference—

she could.

It was only some time later that Ha-eun made her way to the dressing room.

"You were crying buckets earlier. Were you thinking of a sad movie or something?"

"...Something like that."

Since her makeup had been ruined from the tears,

she needed to get it fixed, and she also had to change into a new outfit.

It was there, in the dressing room,

that she asked Ju Jung-yoon to bring her something sweet.

The first shoot of the day had left her mentally drained.

Thankfully, the next scene— S#22 – Flower Shop—

was lighter in tone.

This translation is the intellectual property of Novelight.

But transitioning from S#21’s deep despair

to a bright, cheerful atmosphere in S#22...

was its own kind of challenge.

"Well... if she showed up all gloomy for an interview, that’d be weird."

S#22 – Flower Shop was a scene where Baeksulhwa went searching for a new job.

After S#20, where her previous boss had rushed her to the ER and told her to take time off—

which was essentially a dismissal—

she now had to find new work.

No matter how weak her body had become,

Baeksulhwa couldn’t afford to stop working.

If she did, she’d end up on the streets.

That was why she immediately went to apply for a part-time job

at a flower shop she had stumbled across.

...The fact that its hourly wage was unusually high

may have also played a role in her decision.

"Smile. Stay cheerful."

Having worked part-time jobs for Jpeople in the past,

Ha-eun knew exactly what was needed for an interview.

A bright expression.

A confident tone.

No matter how you really felt—

you had to become the kind of employee the employer wanted to hire.

And so, as time passed—

finally, S#22 – Flower Shop began filming.

"If you have any questions, please ask!

I meet all of your requirements, sir! Any conditions at all!"

In front of Shin and the Goblin’s second lead, Ha Yoon-seong,

Ha-eun beamed with enthusiasm,

playing Baeksulhwa as someone entirely different from before—

a girl whose every word, every action, was acting.

But it didn’t matter.

She had to get this job.

Even if it meant smiling until her cheeks hurt.

"Hmm... Flower shop work is harder than it looks. Are you sure you can handle it?"

Baeksulhwa nodded eagerly.

Though deep down, she feared rejection,

there was no benefit in letting that show.

"Yes! I’ll do my best, no matter what!"

How much longer would her body even hold up?

Would she collapse again while carrying a flower pot?

Would she end up back in the hospital?

But that didn’t matter right now.

Right now, she had to smile.

Pretend everything was fine.

Pretend she was okay.

Just so she could pay rent.

"Any past work experience?"

"A lot! Cafés, barbecue restaurants, convenience stores, gas stations... You name it, I’ve done it!"

She answered enthusiastically—

even as she felt utterly hollow inside.

If she got this job,

how much more would she destroy herself?

But she didn’t even have the luxury of worrying about that.

"Why do you want to work here?"

"Oh, I just really love flowers!"

A blatant lie.

Spoken with the brightest smile she could muster.

Because none of that mattered.

The only thing that mattered—

was whether she could get paid.

She didn’t realize, back then—

"Alright. You can start on Wednesday."

That her new employer,

the man standing before her,

was Park Chasa—

a reaper.

That every flower in this shop wasn’t for the living—

but for the dead.

"Ah... T-thank you! I’ll work hard!"

And so, Baeksulhwa bowed deeply in gratitude,

not knowing that she had just signed her contract...

with a grim reaper.

"Okay, cut! That was great!"

***

After the long holiday, the filming of Gods and Goblins resumed, and overall, everything was going smoothly. This was partly because the lead actors, Kang Seon-woo and Ha Yun-seong, had worked with Ha-eun before and had experience matching their energy with hers.

If the filming continued this smoothly, it was possible that the show could be aired slightly ahead of the originally scheduled time. Of course, whether or not the airing would actually be moved up was still uncertain. But the fact remained that there were no significant delays or blockages in the filming process.

However, there was one issue.

When filming scenes involving Baeksulhwa’s classmates—played by the supporting actors—there were frequent NGs (No Good takes). By the industry’s objective standards, it wasn’t that frequent, but compared to other scenes, it was clearly a problem.

Director Kwon Jae-hyeop had already suspected this.

“The emotional depth is too different.”

In Director Kwon Jae-hyeop’s view, the issue wasn’t just with Ha-eun or the supporting actors; there was something that needed to be improved or fixed on both sides.

That’s why, at the end of one filming day, Director Kwon had Ha-eun called over.

Before Ha-eun left for home after finishing the day’s shooting, there was something he wanted to tell her.

“Is it okay if I speak a bit bluntly? Just once.”

“Ah, yes. It’s fine. Please feel free to speak your mind.”

The conversation that started was about Baeksulhwa’s emotional line. Director Kwon shared his personal concerns regarding Ha-eun’s portrayal.

“Your deep emotions are perfect when filming the highlights, but during the non-highlight scenes, the emotions are still a bit too deep. It gives off this feeling like you’re portraying a person with depression.”

“Ah...”

“When you’re with Baeksulhwa’s friends, you could ease up on the intensity a little. Just a little, to about the middle of where you are now. Do you understand what I mean?”

“Ah, yes. I’ll try to adjust.”

Ha-eun thanked him, bowed, and left after their conversation. She made her way to Ju Jung-yoon’s van, just as she always did.

Strictly speaking, this wasn’t the first time Ha-eun had been asked to adjust her performance or received feedback about her acting. After all, it was Kang Seon-woo, who played Baek Jin, who had initially expanded Ha-eun’s acting range.

However, this time, the feedback was about the scenes with Baeksulhwa and her friends. Specifically, the scenes where Baeksulhwa was being ostracized.

“Could it be because I’ve been acting from my imagination all this time...?”

Since the day she spoke with Director Kwon, Ha-eun couldn’t stop thinking and reconsidering her acting. She had never personally experienced bullying or exclusion, so it was a challenge to understand what it truly felt like.

Since kindergarten, Ha-eun had put a lot of effort into her friendships, and that carried through to her time at Naerae Arts High School, where she was well-liked and never felt left out.

“I can’t exactly ask the kids to pretend to exclude me. Hmm...”

The closest she had ever come to feeling left out was when she started attending an acting academy after filming Next Door Uncle. Some kids there, jealous of the special attention she received from CEO Jeong Do-cheol, distanced themselves from her. But even then, it wasn’t a traumatic experience.

The kids at the academy were still too young for her to really be affected by it.

Being ignored by a few elementary school students didn’t feel significant enough to bring about any meaningful change in her acting.

So, Ha-eun decided to seek help elsewhere. Since she didn’t understand it herself, she figured she should ask someone else.

“Should I ask Da-yeon?”

It was clear that Da-yeon’s social relationships were more strained than Ha-eun’s. So Ha-eun, with genuine curiosity and no malice, asked Da-yeon what it felt like to be excluded.

“...Apologize.”

“Huh? What?”

“Apologize. I’m angry.”

Da-yeon was genuinely hurt by Ha-eun’s question, and in the end, Ha-eun was unable to get the answer she wanted. Fortunately, when Ha-eun explained that she was asking out of concern for her portrayal of Baeksulhwa, Da-yeon’s anger softened.

But it was still awkward.

After all, bullying was something no one should have to experience. But if Ha-eun didn’t understand the feeling of exclusion, it might affect her performance.

So, Ha-eun reached out to others for advice, planning to explain that she was asking solely for her acting and to make sure they didn’t misunderstand. But when she tried to contact people...

[ The customer is unable to take your call... ]

“...Huh?”

For some reason, her calls went unanswered. Both Cream, her favorite VTuber, and Nael, her biggest fan, were avoiding her calls.

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[ Ha-eun, ]

“Calm down, calm down...!”

Nael had been asked by Ji Hye-min to keep some distance from Ha-eun, while Cream had simply not heard her phone ringing. But within a week, when Cream and Nael streamed together, Ha-eun found herself in a whirlwind of emotions.

“I mean, how could you possibly beat lemons? Isn’t that why it’s number one in views?”

“See? Look, everyone! Nael and I really get each other~.”

Watching their JPOP Ideal Type World Cup stream live, Ha-eun was overwhelmed with a feeling she couldn’t describe. Seeing them chat so happily, ignoring her calls, made her heart ache deeply.

“...Why...?”

-Sniffle.

“...No, it’s just a misunderstanding. Yeah, it must be a misunderstanding...”

With a heavy heart, she watched Nael and Cream’s stream. The next day, she called Cream with a bright voice, suggesting they do a joint stream after a long time.

[ No, Ha-eun. You’re in your third year of high school. You have less than 50 days until the exam... ]

“...Okay. I understand.”

This time, she was rejected because she was a third-year student preparing for the college entrance exam. Though Ha-eun had already been balancing her studies, it wasn’t wrong for Cream to remind her to focus more on her studies.

Yeah, it wasn’t wrong.

But why...?

Why did she feel so lonely?

“.............”

The overwhelming loneliness consumed Ha-eun, and she eventually retreated to the bathroom, sinking into the tub. She filled the tub with warm water and watched the bubbles form as she exhaled.

She just lay there in the warm water, her mind blank.

She felt down. Not in the same way as in her previous life, but still... down.

***

[ Did I... make a mistake with Maria unni or Ji Hye-min? Or am I just being too sensitive...? I don’t know... Why is everyone having fun without me? I could have enjoyed the Ideal Type World Cup too... ]

“Hah... Ha-eun? Ha-eun?”

[ Did Hye-min unni... find me annoying...? No, if she found me annoying... that’s a strange way to put it... I’m sorry for calling when you’re busy... ]

-Click.

“...What is this?”